Opposite Ends of a Spectrum
by ice illuser
Summary: Unohana, 4th division captain, and a kind healer. Zaraki, 11th division captain, and complete psychopath. Why in the world would these people associate with each other? Well you know what they say, opposites attract... UnohanaZaraki
1. Chapter 1

Ano…hi. This is my first time writing on so please don't slaughter me…this story takes place a bit before the whole SS arc…just something I wanted to try out. And I don't know how to do spacing well, so please bear with me...

Unohana Retsu, captain of the 4th division, walked peacefully to the 11thdivision, customary quiet smile in place. Inwardly however, she sighed.

_There is something irritating, _she mused, _about having to go get a patient, instead of _

_having the patient simply come to me. Then again, this isn't your average patient…which _

_why I didn't just send someone to go get him…_

Her smile widened. Zaraki Kenpachi was about to learn why no one liked to upset the 4th

division's captain.

Kusajika Yachiru was happily chasing a butterfly around (with perhaps some intent of ripping off its wings…) when a lady with a braid appeared.

"Ah, Kusajika-fukutaichou…would you mind getting Zaraki-taichou for me?" the lady (Yachiru couldn't remember her name right now) asked quietly.

"You want Ken-chan? Okay!" Yachiru chirped, "KEEEEEEENNNNNN-CHAAAAANNNN!"

The tall, scary (to anyone sane at least…) captain of the fierce 11th division appeared, looking annoyed. "What?"

Yachiru beamed, "The braid lady wants to talk to you!"

He turned to Unohana, "What?"

She bowed, "Zaraki-taichou, you have been busy perhaps, but you do need to attend annual checkups sometime."

He frowned, "Why should I have checkups? I'm perfectly healthy, just ask anyone!"

"Yep, Ken-chan is veeeeeeeerrrryyy healthy," Yachiru chimed in.

"It's for the record," Unohana explained, "in case you get injured, and we have to do a blood transfer or something."

"Che, I never get injured anymore anyway, there's no one strong enough here _to _injure me."

"All the same, I have to insist."

"And if I refuse?" he asked, smirking.

Unohana's normally placid smile suddenly turned a little creepy, "Then I suppose I'll have to force you."

Yachiru was amazed. The braid lady had quickly jabbed a few nerves on Ken-chan's neck, and paralyzed him. Then, she brought out some rope, tied him up, then dragged him away, with almost no effort.

"I'll return him in a little bit," she had called over her shoulder.

_Wow, _Yachiru thought, _braid lady is strong! I hope Ken-chan has fun! _

She then proceeded to chase the poor butterfly around again.

"Gah! What _the hell?_!" Kenpachi roared. To say the least, he was not in a comfortable position. One, he was tied up, two, Unohana was giving him shots, and three, this was an utter embarrassment. If his division found out that of all people, _Unohana, _the _4th division_ captain had beat him…well, he was doomed.

"You were right, Zaraki-taichou, you are very healthy," said Unohana, looking at the results.

"Then why _the hell did you have to drag me here!" _

"I said it before, for record reasons. At least right now we have your blood type, if we didn't and you needed a blood transfusion…well, the results would not be well."

"Why would I need a blood transfusion!"

"Since you get into so many fights, anything's possible."

"I always win!"

"There may be a time where you do not."

"Che, that would be okay for once…" he muttered.

"You wish to lose?"

"No, but it would mean that I had _some _fun for once."

She smiled, then murmured, "Just like a kid…"

He scowled, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh nothing…just a random thought…"

_Gah, _he thought, _this woman annoys me! Always smiling, making weird comments…and managing to drag me here! GAAAAAAHHHH!_

Unohana checked the last test results, (there were many tests, since Zaraki-taichou had never had a checkup in his life) then said, "Alright Zaraki-taichou, you may go now."

"And how am I supposed to do that!"

She looked up, then realized that he was still tied up with her extremely tight knots. "You could hop back…"

His expression of fury nearly sent her into gales of laughter, but she managed to restrain herself.

"…if you're in a hurry. Or I can just untie it"

She bent down, and undid the knots quickly and efficiently. Their proximity to eachothershe ignored.

"Goodbye Zaraki-taichou," she said gathering up the results, "and please don't forget to come again next year!"

He snarled, mentally cursing her, then walked back to the 11th division.

"Ken-chan!" Yachiru greeted him, happily holding onto a shredded flower, (she had given up on the butterfly awhile back) "Did you have fun?"

"Like hell!" he yelled.

"The braid lady was strong though," commented Yachiru, searching for more flowers, (to destroy) "Isn't that nice?"

"Huh?"

"Ken-chan and her can get along!"

"…whatever you say Yachiru. But let's keep this little…incident, a secret, okay?"

"Okay Ken-chan!" Yachiru said, holding up another flower.

I apologize for any OOCness in this fic…please review, and flames will be hurled right back. Constructive criticism (god I sound like an English teacher) is welcome though.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach…no matter how much I want to…(I'm sorry that I forgot to do a disclaimer last time…)

Thank you, bobbyneko and Nadare-chan who reviewed. Well, I have decided to set this fic before the SS arc, and then into it as well…is that a good idea? Anyway, let's get started then…

Yachiru was bored. Baldy (Madarame Ikkaku ) had run off to hide in the 12th division from her, and Yachiru didn't want to see creepy robot guy (Kurotshuchi Mayuri). Besides, Baldy obviously hadn't just run away to get away from her, he probably wanted to see creepy robot guy's daughter as well. (Nemu)

Yachiru sighed, _you owe me Baldy, _she thought to herself, _since_ _I'm giving you time off for right now to visit your girlfriend. Hope you don't get made into an experiment over there, or else I won't have anything to chew on._

However, Yachiru had a great idea at that moment.

"KEEEEEEENNNNN-CHAAAAAANNNN!"

--

Kotetsu Isane, vice captain of the 4th division, wasn't having the best day. To begin with, there was a ton of paperwork to do, she had night shift at the sick bay for a month, and she kept having dreams about Kama Bokoi (fish cake).

And to top it all off, the _scary, scary, scary, _captain of the 11th division, (and his vice-captain, but she wasn't _scary) _was here.

_Okay, _she told herself, _you're a vice-captain, you can do this! …I want Kiyone or Unohana-taichou…_

She bravely took a step towards him, "Ano…"

"Hello!" Yachiru's pink head popped up right behind Zaraki-taichou's shoulder, "I'm bored, so I decided to come here!"

"She wants to play nurse," said Zaraki-taichou flatly.

Isane blinked a few times, "….I'll have to go and ask Unohana-taichou…"

"Oh, braid lady?" asked Yachiru, cocking her head, "Okay, go ahead!"

Isane turned around, and it was all she could do from running away from the pair.

--

Unohana had just finished healing the last critically wounded patient, and had started to fix some tea, when her vice-captain burst in.

"UNOHANA-TAICHOU!"

She calmly placed the lid on the kettle, and asked, "Yes?"

"The…vice-captain…" Isane managed to pant out, "of the 11th division…"

"Kusajika-fukutaichou?"

"Yes…wants to play…nurse."

Unohana added a few more tea leaves to the pot. "Nurse? In that case, why don't we give her a practice patient to work on?"

Isane blinked, again. "Practice patients?"

"Quite, just get oh….someone that we won't have to tie down."

Isane shivered slightly, _on the other hand, _she thought, _Unohana-taichou is scary too! In a different way than Zaraki-taichou, but still! There's going to be no one who won't do it if I say that Unohana-taichou wants it…_

"…Hai Unohana-taichou."

"Oh, and tell Kusajika-fukutaichou that she isn't allowed to use anything sharp on her 'patient'."

--

In the end, it was poor Yamada Hanatarou who was picked for the job. Yachiru was happily ramming a thermometer into his mouth, and announcing that he was "veeeeeeeeeerrry sick."

Kenpachi started to wonder around, bored. After he had calmed Yachiru down after she had heard that she wasn't allowed to use anything sharp, ("WHHHHAAAATTT! NOT FAIR!") it was complete boredom on his part.

Meanwhile Hanatarou wondered if any of the medicines Kusajika-fukutaichou was giving him would kill him.

Kenpachi wondered around the whole 4th division, until he saw some tea set on a table. Oddly enough, Kenpachi liked tea, sort of. Besides, he was thirsty.

He sat down, and was about to pour himself some tea, when a familiar voice said, "Ah, Zaraki-taichou…I didn't know you liked tea."

He spun around, and saw that Unohana was standing at the doorway.

"What do you want!"

"Well," she said, walking into the room, "since this is my office and my tea, I should be asking you the same question, if your intent wasn't so obvious."

He glared at her, not forgetting the humiliating checkup, but she simply smiled, sat down, and picked up the tea pot.

"Would you like some?" she asked, after pouring herself a cup.

He glared some more, but since he _was _thirsty, he went ahead and muttered, "….yeah."

Sipping her tea, Unohana asked, "Was the decision of Kusajika-fukutaichou to come here completely random?"

"Everything Yachiru does is pretty random. Besides, Ikkaku ran off today."

"Ikkaku…? Oh, I saw him hiding in the bushes in the 12th division."

"Yeah, he's always hiding there, looking for that vice-captain."

"Nemu-fukutaichou?" she smiled, "That's nice…"

"It's damn annoying sometimes," muttered Kenpachi, " he could just go on a freakin' date with her, but no, he just hangs around the 12th division acting like a like a fucking lost puppy."

"Well," Unohana mused, "there is Kurotsuchi-taichou to worry about if he decides to court her…"

"The annoying robot freak? Yeah, probably."

"Hm," said Unohana, putting her cup down, "did you hear some screaming?"

"Huh? What—"

There came a dull thump, and Yachiru's annoyed voice saying, "See, he was sick! He just passed out…"

--

After moving Hanatarou to the sick-bay (Yachiru had been much too enthusiastic when checking his pulse, she nearly strangled him) Unohana turned and said to Yachiru, with a straight face, "You'd make a pretty good nurse, Kusajika-fukutaichou."

Yachiru beamed, "Thank you braid lady! Oh and call me Yachiru."

"Alright Yachiru, will we be expecting you back anytime soon?"

"Maybe!" Yachiru said, climbing onto Kenpachi's shoulder, "Bye-bye!"

--

"Wasn't that fun, Ken-chan?" Yachiru asked, while they were walking back.

"…it was good tea."

"Ken-chan had tea?"

"The lady made it."

"See, I told you that you and her would get along!"

"It's tea."

"Tea's a start!"

"Since when did you turn into a freakin matchmaker!"

"What's a matchmaker Ken-chan?"

Kenpachi groaned. When Yachiru got a hold of a question, she would never stop bugging you about it.

"It's a…person."

"What type of person?"

"A person that tries to um…get people to be friends with each other. Yeah. That's it."

"So…" Yachiru said, tilting her head, "I'm a matchmaker?"

"Don't be one."

"Why not Ken-chan? It sounds like fun!"

Kenpachi began wondering what had caused him to even mention matchmaking. This could get very awkward…

--

Well, I managed to update…I'm sorry for any OOCness, please review, and please give me ideas for what Yachiru should nickname some people. (Yumichika for starters…)


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, Yoruichi and Urahara would appear a lot more often…but since they don't, I don't own Bleach.

A/N: I think this will be last chapter set before the SS arc, so please give me ideas if you can!

**Nadare-chan: **Yumichika is the one with weird eyelashes, and is obsessed with things being "beautiful". I also suck at names…and thank you, I was trying to make Yachiru that way.

**Noc and NC: **Glad you like the pairing; it's just that they're hilarious together…

**Clazziquai: **Thank you!

**Arashi-chan 13: **Thank you so much! Those nicknames are pretty good, actually…

--

Ikkaku wondered around the 11th division gloomily, occasionally yelling at some of the other shinigami.

"You call that clean! It's so filthy that a pig pen could be considered cleaner! Clean this whole thing up, and if it's not done in five minutes you're going to spar Zaraki-taichou!"

"Hai Madarame-sama!"

Why was Ikkaku in such a bad mood? Well, yesterday he had gone over to the 12th division to both hide from Yachiru and try and find Nemu. He hadn't seen her in awhile after all. However things hadn't gone so well when he had actually found her…

--

Flashback:

Ikkaku crept out of the bush, after seeing Zaraki-taichou and Yachiru walk off.

_That was close, _he thought, _now to accomplish my second objective…where would Nemu be anyway?_

"Madarame-kun? Why are you here?"

He looked up. Peering down at him was a worried looking Nemu.

"Yo, Nemu! Haven't seen you in a really long time, so I decided to drop by—"

"You can't be here!" she hissed hurriedly, looking around, "Please go!"

"What? But—"

"Please Madarame-kun! If you don't I'll get in trouble..."

"Why—?"

"Nemu!" a scratchy voice yelled, "Where are you! You better not be trying to go to the 11th division!"

"No, Mayuri-sama! I'm coming!" she yelled back, then turned to Ikkaku, pleading "Please Madarame-kun, if he finds you here…just go, please."

"Alright, I'm going," he said, stiffly, leaping over the wall, and heading back to the 11th division.

Nemu watched him go sadly. They had been good friends before, but now…well, things were different now.

End flashback.

--

"GAAAAAAAHHHHH!" yelled Ikkaku, slamming his fist into the wall, "Why the hell is she avoiding me!"

"Who? Oh wait, let me guess… Kurotshuchi Nemu. Well, it's obvious. She's much too beautiful for you," said a guy with red and yellow eyelashes.

"Shut up Yumichika!" Ikkaku yelled at his vain friend, Yumichika Ayasegawa, "You're not helping!"

"Oh, Baldy needs help?"

Ikkaku froze. It was Yachiru happily beaming up at him. Yachiru happy BAD things happening.

"Okay, I'll help you!" she chirped. "I'm a matchmaker after all!"

Ikkaku and Yumichika blinked.

"Match….maker?"

"Um, Yachiru-fukutaichou, you do know what a matchmaker is, right?" Yumichika asked her.

"Yep! Ken-chan explained to me!"

They blinked again. Ferocious Zaraki-taichou…explaining what a matchmaker was?

"And…what did he say it was?"

"Ken-chan said that a matchmaker tries to get people to be friends with each other!"

Ikkaku whispered to Yumichika, "Do you think we should tell her what it reallymeans?"

"No, it's close enough…"

"So what does Baldy need help with?"

…_no way, _he thought, _I'm going to tell the brat. Uh-uh, no way. _

"Oh, I know." Yachiru said, rocking herself back and forth, "It's creepy robot guy's daughter, right?"

Ikkaku blinked again. _Creepy robot guy's daughter…wait, that's Nemu, right? _

"What—! I mean, how—!" he managed to choke out.

Yumichika patted him on the back, "It's kind of obvious you know. I think even Zaraki-taichou knows about it…"

"WHAT!"

--

After managing to calm Ikkaku down, Yachiru said, "You guys are going to help me make a match-making business!"

This made Ikkaku start choking again, "What!"

"Why do you need a business?" asked Yumichika.

"CANDY! They're all going to pay candy!" sang Yachiru happily, "So, you're going to make a stand, put up flyers, and attract business, okay?"

"Why do we have to do this?" complained Ikkaku.

Yachiru suddenly looked scary, "**Because I said so.**"

"Well then, come on Ikkaku!" said Yumichika, quickly dragging his friend away, "WE must start Yachiru-fukutaichou's business!"

--

Kenpachi had just gotten back from another boring day of killing Hollows, when he heard someone yelling, "Do you need a friend? Are you all lonely and can't find anyone? Then come to Kusajika Yachiru's matchmaking business, in the 11th division!" hurriedly added were the words, "and please bring lots of candy to pay."

Kenpachi ran over to the unfortunate shinigami, and hauled him up, "What the HELL are you doing!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Zaraki-taichou!" babbled the 11th division member, "It's just that Kusajika-fukutaichou told us help attract business!"

"Yachiru? What's she up to now?" Kenpachi muttered as he dropped the shinigami.

"Um, it's a very successful business, Zaraki-taichou," said the shinigami, hurriedly, "lots of people have been flocking over—"

He realized that Zaraki-taichou had already left.

_Phew, _he thought, picking up the flyers he had dropped, _that was close…_

--

The whole 11th division was in chaos, and not just it's normal chaos either. It was full of people (mainly females) and everyone was chattering.

In the middle of this sea of people was Yachiru, happily dispensing advice.

"Well, my lovely, lovely, Nanao-chanacts so cold!" sang Kyoraku Shunsui, "She never lets me kiss her!"

"Eeeew, kissing is gross," stated Yachiru, licking a cherry lollipop, "don't try that. Give her hugs! Or, you could give her something she likes as a present!"

"That's a good idea, Kusajika-fukutaichou! What should I get her?"

"Candy!" said Yachiru promptly, reaching for another chocolate having finished the lollipop, "or a dead rat. I like dead rats…"

"Candy? Yes! I will give my lovely, lovely, Nanao-chan candy! Thank you Kusajika-fukutaichou!" Shunsui stood up, tossed Yachiru a big bag of candy, and hurried out of the 11th division.

However, before he managed to navigate his way out, Kenpachi appeared.

"What the hell are you doing here!" yelled Kenpachi, glaring around the room. A lot of people backed away. "Scratch that, what are _all _of you doing here! Get back to your divisions!"

Everyone scattered.

"Come back again tomorrow!" yelled Yachiru.

--

"Whaaaaaattt? Ken-chan doesn't want me to do the matchmaking business anymore?" Yachiru whined.

"No."

"But Ken-chan—"

"No."

"But Ken-chaaaaaannn—"

"No."

"But look at all the candy I got!" she said, holding up a huge bag, "You won't have to buy me anymore if I keep doing this!"

"No."

Yachiru pouted, and then thought for a little while. "…I could show you how good I am at being a matchmaker!"

"You can't be a shinigami and a matchmaker at the same time."

"Yes I can! I'll show you, tomorrow, 'kay Ken-chan?" she beamed at him, then started dragging the bag of candy to her room.

Kenpachi sighed. He didn't like the sound of it, but when Yachiru set her mind to do something, god help the person who tried to convince her otherwise.

"Yachiru, here," he picked up the bag for her, and started towards her room.

She jumped on his back, "Thank you Ken-chan! I have a veeeeerrryyy good idea, so don't worry, alright?"

Yachiru's last "very good idea" had ended with those weird red and yellow eyelashes getting stuck to Yumichika's right eye. It was just luck that Yumichika actually liked them anyway.

--

Unohana was having her morning tea, when she heard a knocking sound on her window. She opened it, and Yachiru beamed.

"Hello braid lady!"

"Hello Yachiru," said Unohana peacefully, "would you like some tea?"

"Bleh, nope, I don't like tea. Can Ken-chan take you somewhere to eat today?"

Unohana blinked at slowly put her cup down, "…is this Zaraki-taichou's request?"

"Nope! I'm trying to prove to him that I can be a good shinigami and a good matchmaker at the same time!"

Unohana recalled that many members of her division had been talking about a matchmaking business in the 11th division. _Ah, _she thought, _that's what it was…_

"I heard your business was very successful, Yachiru."

"Yep, I got tons of candy! So will you?"

Unohana considered her options. _On one hand, _she thought, _I don't have much work today, so I could do it if I wanted to…but with Zaraki-taichou?_

**_What, _**said another voice in her head, **_you've got someone else you want to date?_**

_No, and it wouldn't count as dating if I agreed. _

_**Sure, then what would it be?**_

_Lunch._

_**Whatever. Just go, you need a break.**_

…_with the 11th division captain?_

_**What's wrong with that?**_

_People will talk._

_**That's never stopped you before. Besides, people always talk.**_

She shrugged, and said, "Alright, but tell Zaraki-taichou that he can only come after 1:00. I've still got work until then."

"Okay!" chirped Yachiru and she ran off.

--

Kenpachi stood scowling in front of the 4th division. Yachiru had told him that Unohana-taichou wanted to give him another checkup.

_I don't, _he thought to himself, waiting impatiently, _want to get dragged here again, so I came by myself. Now, where the hell is that woman! Yachiru said it was around 1:00! Gah, this is boring…_

"Hello, Zaraki-taichou," said a voice behind him.

He spun around. It was just Unohana-taichou standing there smiling.

"Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"Alright. Should we go now?"

"Whatever," he said, turning to walk into the 4th division.

"No Zaraki-taichou, this way," she said, grabbing his arm, and pulling him in the direction of the market.

A puzzled Kenpachi followed her. _…what sort of checkup is this?_

--

Abarai Renji, vice captain of the 6th division, was happily wolfing down dumplings, with the rest of the 6th division, when both Unohana-taichou and Zaraki-taichou appeared.

The whole restaurant went dead silent.

"Table for two please," said Unohana-taichou quietly smiling.

The restaurant started to get noisy again, but not as noisy as before. After all, _Zaraki-taichou _was there.

"Hey, what are they doing here?" he asked Rikichi, who had also resumed eating.

"How should I know?" he said shrugging.

Renji looked at the pair again. Unohana-taichou was smiling peacefully as always, and Zaraki-taichou was scowling. _Could it be…?_

"Do you think they're on a date?" he asked conversationally.

The whole division choked, and nearly spat out their food.

"What! No _way_!"

"I mean Unohana-taichou's so nice…."

"And Zaraki-taichou is just _scary_!"

"But Unohana-taichou can be scary sometimes too…"

"Couldn't be," everyone said glancing at the table. Unohana-taichou was laughing, and Zaraki-taichou was still scowling. "Could it…?"

Kuchiki Byakuya, captain of the 6th division, came back from ordering a _really _spicy dish, to see his whole division goggling at a table.

"…what are all of you looking at?"

Renji turned around and threw a quick salute, "We are watching Unohana-taichou and Zaraki-taichou eat lunch, Kuchiki-taichou."

"…together?" Byakuya asked, subtly glancing at the table, where currently both captains were eating.

"They came here together, Kuchiki-taichou."

Byakuya pondered on it for a little while, and then decided that it was a subject best left untouched. He sat down and began to eat his _very _spicy meal, while his whole division ate and watched the table.

--

"Why the hell did I have to pay the bill?" Kenpachi complained, as they walked back, "You're the one who made me come to the check-up, although that's the weirdest check-up ever."

Unohana paused. _Ah, _she thought, _so that's how Yachiru got him over here…oh well it was fun. Though I can't help but feel a little bit disappointed for some reason…_

"Guys generally pay the bills at restaurants, Zaraki-taichou," she said calmly, "besides; you ate more than I did."

"You're a woman; of course I would eat more!"

"Besides, it's not as though you don't have any money."

"I have to use it to buy candy for Yachiru."

"Her matchmaking business seems to be going quite well, so she's earning candy by herself now. Besides, she's also a vice-captain, so she does get paid…"

"That's not the point."

"Oh well," she said, stopping in front of the 4th division, "I had a nice time Zaraki-taichou, thank you."

"…che, whatever."

--

The next day the whole Soul Society was up in an uproar with rumors that Unohana-taichou had gone on a date with Zaraki-taichou.

Unohana-taichou just smiled serenely, and said, "It was just lunch."

No one was brave enough except for Yachiru to ask Zaraki-taichou.

"Did Ken-chan have a good lunch?"

"You set me up, didn't you?"

"Oh, Ken-chan found out! When?"

"When we got to the restaurant."

"So I'm a good matchmaker, right?"

Kenpachi shook his head, and said, "Better stick to being a shinigami, Yachiru."

Yachiru stuck out her tongue, "I think I did a good job!"

--

A/N: Wow…that chapter was actually pretty long… I think I'll start getting into the SS arc in the next chapter. Please review, and give me some ideas!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: AS much as I wished I do, I don't own Bleach.

A/N: Well, I'm back. I'm sorry that it took awhile to update… Thank you **allyluv, Noc and NC (**thank you for the ideas, I think I'll use them!), **Nadare-chan **(most people _are_ surprised by this pairing…), **razgriz05, Sophia Prestor **(yeah, I thought the most obvious person to go to Yachiru's business, would be Shunsui…the nickname could work…), **Baldurs, sora-chanx3 **(kuchiki and soi-fong…? Never heard of it, but it _does _sound promising…I was actually thinking about doing a Yoruichi/Urahara one…), **Scarbie **(wow, thanks for reviewing so many times…), and **Aeolus the Soul Hunter** for reviewing! (Wow, that's a lot of names…).

--

It had been a few weeks after Zaraki-taichou and Unohana-taichou's "date", but the embers of the gossip were still burning quite brightly. There were all sorts of ideas from Zaraki-taichou kidnapping the whole 4th division, to the fact that Yachiru had decided to pull the biggest prank in Soul Society's history.

The whole 11th division didn't even mention it, unless they felt like sparring their already pissed off captain.

However, one piece of news suddenly stole the whole show.

Kuchiki Rukia, adopted sister of Kuchiki Byakuya, had been brought back from the human world, and was awaiting sentencing of her three month unlicensed stay in the human world. The gossip also had many versions of why she had stayed so long, from her meeting a guy (it had been known to happen, after all.)to being kidnapped by the outcasts of the Soul Society, Urahara Kisuke, and Shihouin Yoruichi.

This time it was the whole 6th division that didn't dare even say a word about it, seeing as how their vice-captain would happily take out his stress out on the unfortunate person, and their captain would most like demote them (and who knew what else…).

The rumor mill was nice and active in the Soul Society, because really, what else was there to do?

So was it any surprise that it caused a bit of an uproar when Kuchiki Rukia was sentenced to be executed by the means of the Soukyoku?

--

"Ken-chan! Ken-chan!" Yachiru called, running around the 11th division.

"What? And hurry up Yachiru; we've got a stupid captain's meeting…" Kenpachi asked, as Yachiru clambered onto his shoulder.

"I heard reeeeaaaallly cool rumors! There was one that these intruders got into the Soul Society, from the human world!" chirped Yachiru.

Kenpachi shrugged, "So? Rumors are annoying, and generally wrong."

"No they aren't! They got the one about me making the biggest joke in Soul Society's history right!"

"You weren't trying to make it a joke. You were trying to convince me that you could be a matchmaker."

"Same difference. Besides, I heard the intruders are reeeaaalllyy strong."

Kenpachi stopped dead, turned to Yachiru, and asked, "How strong?"

"Didn't you hear Ken-chan? One of the ryoka tried to get in by defeating one of the gatekeepers, and he actually beat him. Then weird smiley-face (Ichimaru Gin) went there, and the ryoka didn't die!"

Kenpachi considered this. A gatekeeper would be semi-hard to defeat (way too easy by his standards), but Ichimaru? Now _that _was something.

"Let's go Yachiru," he said as he ran to the captain's meeting.

_Who knows, this might actually get interesting…_

--

Unohana was worried, although she didn't let it show beneath her pleasant smile. Why? First of all, there were ryoka. Second, Ichimaru-taichou for some reason hadn't killed them when he had had the chance. Third, the warning alarm had been sounded, reporting that the ryoka were now trying to get in by some strange cannon-ball device. Fourth, Zaraki looked much too excited for her own peace of mind.

**Ah, **went that other voice in her head again, **since when did "Zaraki-taichou", turn into just "Zaraki,"? Who knows, you may be calling him…_Kenpachi-kun_, or maybe even Kenpachi-_chan, _by the time this is all over.**

_I will not, _she thought, as she walked quickly walked toward him, _it was just…Zaraki-taichou takes a long time to say._

**Sure.**

"Hey," he said when she had reached him, "where do you think the ryoka are going to land?"

"What makes you think they will be over to get through the barrier around the Gotei 13?"

He snorted, "If they can get away with no injuries from Ichimaru, they'll find a way to get around the puny barrier."

"He wasn't trying to kill them…" she said, glancing at the retreating back of Ichimaru-taichou.

"Ichimaru playing around is still good enough for normal people getting hurt," Kenpachi said, shrugging.

Unohana looked at him worriedly, "Why do you wish for the ryoka to come here?"

"Isn't it obvious? There's going to be someone pretty strong getting in here, and I'm not about to let that chance go to waste," he said, grinning manically.

Unohana sighed, and looked away.

"Well?" he said, impatiently.

She turned back to him, customary smile in place, "I'm assuming they will aim the cannon-ball device towards the center of Gotei-13. Where the ryoka will go after hitting the barrier, I have no idea, but if you go to the center, you'll most likely be able to see the general direction."

"Thanks!" he said, quickly rushing out the chamber, "If Yachiru comes by, tell her where I am, okay?"

"Alright…"

_Kenpachi…the name given to the strongest shinigami in every generation. He never had any hesitation giving himself that name…and I still remember when I saw him for the first time…_

--

Flashback:

She carefully checked the pulse of the previous 11th division captain.

There were three ways of becoming a captain. One, you could take and pass the taishyu test. Two, you could get referrals from at least 6 captains, and get approvals from at least 3 of the remaining captains. And of course three, you could defeat a captain in a one-on-one battle to the death.

Unohana had only recently become the captain of the 4th division by passing the taishyu test.

Zaraki Kenpachi had chosen the third way. Many shinigami had scoffed at the idea. What was this kid thinking? Number one, no one ever used that way anymore, it was a guaranteed death wish. Number two, he didn't even _know the name of his zanpaktou. _Who could ever win with those kinds of chances? Not a self-dubbed "Kenpachi", at least.

So the audience had been stunned when the 11th division's captain fell, and stayed down. Unohana had snapped out of her shock just long enough to hurry over to the body.

The 11th division captain was certainly dead, so that meant Zaraki Kenpachi was now the captain of the 11th division.

"He's dead," she announced quietly to the stunned audience. She carefully slid the captain's coat off the corpse, and offered it to Zaraki-taichou.

He took it without any words, and draped it over his shoulder.

A small pink haired girl climbed onto his shoulder, and said, "That wasn't that much fun."

"Nah, it wasn't."

She had wondered what they had been talking about; it had been a _captain _he had been fighting after all. But there was no time to ask, as the 4th division's captain, she had to properly dispose of the body.

End flashback.

--

"Unohana-taichou?"

She snapped out of her reverie to see Isane standing in front of her.

"Yes?"

"The ryoka hit the barrier."

"Are they alive?"

"Hai, Unohana-taichou. At least…we think so."

"Think so?"

"When the…cannon-ball thing hit, it split into four streams of light. The ryoka were spilt up, and we're not sure if they survived falling from the barrier yet."

"Proceed to dispatch emergency squads then."

"Hai."

_So, _she thought, as she hurried with her vice-captain to the 4th division, _Zaraki was right…they managed to get through the barrier. He'll start to look for the strongest one then…I…I hope he'll be safe._

**_There, _you go. Now, this is called admitting your feelings.**

_Please be quiet._

**I'm part of you. It's my duty to get you to admit your feelings.**

…_does that mean I'm stuck with you?_

**Yup.**

_Damn._

--

As Kenpachi watched the four streams of light, he felt a twinge of guilt.

_I think I should have said something…Unohana looked pretty sad for a second. Wait, what am I saying! Concentrate idiot, which light should you follow? _

**But she did look sad…**

_Who can tell with women anyway? They've got weird emotions and things like mood swings._

**And how many women have you really known anyway? There aren't any women in the 11th division in the first place.**

_Um…Yachiru and Unohana. Oh and I've talked to Soi Fong and that 4th division before…and Kuchiki and that 3rd division vice-captain look girly enough to count as girls anyway._

…**I'm not going to say anything.**

_What!_

"Ken-chan!" said Yachiru, swinging down, "Come on, let's pick which way to go!"

"Which way looks the strongest?"

"Hm," she said, putting a finger to her mouth, "Um…that way!" she pointed right.

"You're sure?"

"Uh-huh! It's women's intuition!"

"…you're not a woman."

"Braid lady said it counted for girls too!"

Kenpachi once again felt a bit guilty.

…_must have been something I ate. Yeah, that's why I feel weird. _

**Are you in denial, or just seriously dense?**

_Shut up!_

--

A/N: I'm really sorry if I overdid the "little voice in your head" thing…gomen! And I'm sorry if I got any names or facts wrong… Please review, and could anyone give me some idea for a bit of angst in this fic? (Not that much, just a bit, you know?)


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: For obvious reasons, I don't own Bleach.

A/N: Hello everyone. Thanks to **Aeolous the Soul Hunter (**thank you so much for putting this fic in your C2 community!), **Noc and NC (**the angst suggestions are pretty good…thank you, I think I'll try to use them), **Aya Yume (**I'm glad you liked the Ikkaku/Nemu part, they're one of my favorite couples in Bleach), **Nadare-chan (**I couldn't come up with another nickname for Unohana, so I just used "braid lady"…), **Dizzcity (**wow, thanks for your review! It's so nice and detailed….), and **Blarog WINS (**well, I thought he probably would have talked to Soi Fong before since she's also a captain…) for reviewing!

--

Kenpachi was currently still trying to find the ryoka, with no help from Yachiru.

"This way Ken-chan!" she said, pointing to the right.

He ran that direction…into another dead end.

"Goddamit Yachiru! Make up your damn mind!"

"Wah, Ken-chan's mean! This way, this way!" she said, pouting and pointing to the left.

"Are you sure?"

"Yup, it's my instinct!"

Running in the direction Yachiru had pointed, Kenpachi cursed in his head. _Damnit, I've been spending at least three hours looking for these ryoka! This better be worth the effort…_

--

Kenpachi ran past another wall to encounter the 4th division building.

"The ryoka aren't here!"

"Indeed they aren't Zaraki-san, but I don't think you missed them by much…" said a voice behind him.

He spun around to see Unohana.

"Hello Braid Lady!" Yachiru chirped.

"What do you mean?" he asked Unohana.

"Your 3rd seat, Madarame-san, and your 5th seat Ayasegawa-san, encountered two of the ryoka."

"Damn," he snarled, "so the ryoka are already dead? I'm going to skin those two…"

"No, Zaraki-san," she said, motioning towards the patient wards, "the ryoka are fine, for now. They ran off to who knows where…Your 3rd seat and 5th seat are now both currently under my care."

Kenpachi was struck speechless for a moment, but then a feral grin came across his face, "Where's Ikkaku?"

"3rd room, on your right…" Unohana said, and then trailed off looking uncertain.

"Thanks," he said as he turned to go.

"Wait," she put a hand out and touched his sleeve, "Kurotshuchi-taichou went to see Madarame-san for some reason…"

"That bastard? Che, I've been waiting for an excuse to beat him into pulp…"

Unohana smiled a little, then removed her hand, "Go ahead then, Zaraki-san."

--

As Unohana walked around the 4th division doing her rounds, she wondered why she even felt worried about Zaraki Kenpachi. It wasn't like he was weak, no quite the opposite in fact…

_But you have to admit it's worrying that a ryoka could beat a 3rd seat, the 11th division's 3rd seat in fact, and still be healthy enough to run off…quite troubling in fact. If a ryoka is good enough to do that…who knows that he can't beat a captain? But it's Zaraki-san we're talking about…he should be fine._

_**But he runs towards danger happily.**_

…_he won't get hurt. I know that. I believe that. I…have to believe that._

"Unohana-taichou!" her vice-captain called out, running towards her, out of breath.

"Yes Isane?"

"We just found… the whole 11th division…completely wiped out."

Unohana stared at her for several seconds before saying, "I'm sorry Isane, I thought you just said that the whole _11th division _had been wiped out."

"That's what I said Unohana-taichou."

"Are…they all dead?"

"No Unohana-taichou, in fact all of them are alive, just injured enough so that they can't fight anymore."

She paused for a few more moments, "…is Zaraki-taichou aware of the casualty his division took?"

"I doubt it; he looks preoccupied with finding the ryoka."

"…someone will have to tell him."

"I'm sorry Unohana-taichou, but our whole division is trying to get the whole 11th division into the hospital wards…"

"It's alright," she said, smiling, "I can track him down. Please tell the rest of the division that I'll be back soon."

"Hai Unohana-taichou!"

As Unohana-taichou leapt away, Isane began to hurry to the hospital wards.

_I wonder, why did Unohana-taichou look a little upset right before I came? There were a lot of rumors that she and Zaraki-taichou were going out…but nah that would never work out would it? They're complete opposites!_

--

"Yachiru…how many dead ends have we run into today?" Kenpachi asked, twitching as he viewed yet another dead end.

"Lots and lots, Ken-chan!"

"Why the hell do we keep on running into them!"

"Wah, Ken-chan's mad again!"

"Hell yeah, I'm mad! Your directions suck!"

"Ken-chan's just mad because he keeps on getting lost!"

"I'm following _your _directions!"

"Well, try and find your own way Ken-chan!"

"You know I can't, I can't sense spiritual pressure remember?"

"That's why Ken-chan needs me!"

"Baka."

"Zaraki-san?"

Kenpachi turned around about to snarl out a, "What the hell do you want!" but it was Unohana.

"Oh. It's you."

"Yes, it's me. Were you expecting someone else?" she asked him quietly.

"Um, no. Sorry, we've been wondering around for hours with no success thanks to Yachiru."

"Neh, it's not my fault Ken-chan!" Yachiru piped up.

"Yes it is."

"Wah, Braid lady," Yachiru said turning to Unohana, "tell Ken-chan it's his fault that he can't sense spiritual pressure!"

Unohana smiled, and said, "That part is your fault Zaraki-san, but Yachiru, how do well is your sense of spiritual pressure?"

"Great!"

"Awful," Kenpachi said snorting, "It's not much better than mine."

Unohana quietly smiled again and said, "Alright…well, you do know that your whole squad has been wiped out reportedly from one ryoka, Zaraki-san?"

Kenpachi stopped to think about that for a bit. "Well…half of them are weaklings anyway. A good beating will beat some more strength into them hopefully."

"Yup, half of them don't last three minutes playing with me!" Yachiru chipped in.

"Oh…so that's why so many people from the 11th division come into my care?" Unohana asked.

"Nope! Ken-chan spars with them sometimes too!"

"I see…anyway I'll be going now," Unohana said, turning to go.

"Wait," Kenpachi said, grabbing her wrist.

"Yes?"

"Uh…which way would any of the ryoka be?" he asked.

"I think the one that destroyed most of your squad is heading towards the general direction of the 8th division, as for the others…I would not know. But Madarame-san told you the general directions for the one you want?"

"Um…yeah," he let go of her wrist, awkwardly, "Ikkaku thought he's heading to the white tower place."

"Oh, the Shishinrou? I wonder why…"she mused, absentmindedly rubbing her wrist.

"Who cares?"

"As you say, Zaraki-san…I should be going now, my squad is quite busy," she said, turning.

"Yeah, bye."

When Unohana had left, and Kenpachi continued running, Yachiru said, "Ken-chan, you don't have a girlfriend right?"

Kenpachi nearly choked, "What the hell! Of course not!"

"Good, because I think Braid lady would make a good girlfriend for you!"

"Look Yachiru, stop trying to be a matchmaker."

"I like being a matchmaker! And my idea is good!"

"You're an idiot Yachiru, we are nothing alike, so your idea doesn't work."

"Someone said opposites attract!"

He stopped to look at Yachiru, "Where did you hear that?"

"I read it!"

As he continued to run, he thought, _reminder to self, regulate all of Yachiru's books from now on, and toss any romance ones into the trash. _

_But…opposites attract, huh? Never heard of it. Doesn't apply to me anyway. Yeah, that's right. _

_**Someone's in serious denial here.**_

--

A/N: Oh…that wasn't that good was it? I'm sorry! And I'm also sorry that this chapter wasn't that long…Please review again, and give me more Unohana/Zaraki ideas.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: For obvious reasons, I don't own Bleach. The genius Kubo Tite does.

A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update! Between school work and other fics…well anyway, thanks to **Aeolus the Soul Hunter (**I kind of don't want to skip events…so the next chapter will be your idea, I think…), **Sophia Prestor (**Those are really good ideas, thank you!), **ChibiRulz YanLan (**That sounds good…thank you!)**, Mommy Rogers, Hiroyuki (**Sorry if I made Kenpachi sound a bit dumb…), **lilyponds, **and **yvie (**Thanks for such a long review!) for reviewing.

--

Unohana didn't actually have a good night's sleep that night. Number one were her worries about the ryoka, number two was her worries about how the emergency ward had filled up so fast due to the ryoka, and third was her niggling worry that Zaraki still wanted to fight the ryoka.

_He's even staking out the Shishinrou to make sure he doesn't miss them! Such a fight maniac…I hope he's okay. I hope he'll **be **okay. _

_No, I can't think like that, I just can't. Besides, why am I even worrying about him? He's just the 11th division's captain, the only thing I ever had to worry about when it's him, is how many people he sends to my division…I don't have to worry about him, he's a captain, he doesn't need anyone to worry about him._

_But…_

Needless to say, when the sun finally came up, Unohana was not a happily rested person.

She sighed, rubbed her tired eyes, and quietly put on her captain jacket. She was just about to put the kettle on the stove, when Isane slammed open the sliding door of her room.

"Unohana-taichou!"

Unohana sighed, and rubbed her eyes again. _Isane running to tell me bad news seems to be happening much more often…_

"Yes Isane?"

"Aizen-taichou, he…they…"

Unohana looked closely at Isane for the first time. Her eyes were panicked, and her hands were shaking on the sliding door.

She carefully put the kettle on the stove, turned and said, "Isane, sit down."

"Hai taichou…" Isane mumbled, sliding down onto the cushion in front of the table.

"Now tell me what happened."

"They…they found Aizen-taichou's body," whispered Isane, her head lowered.

Unohana stared at her, "…body? Then….?"

"They…want you to examine him. See what caused him to die."

"…I see," said Unohana, standing up, "Please make sure to take the kettle off the stove when the tea is ready."

"Hai Unohana-taichou."

"And Isane?"

Isane looked up, her hands clenched in her lap, "Yes Unohana-taichou?"

"Stay here, until you feel better, alright?" Unohana gently ordered, smiling.

"Hai taichou."

--

She carefully checked over Aizen-taichou's whole body, only to find nothing.

"He is certainly dead," she stated, standing up, "Died by his own zanpaktou, from the looks of it…Komamura-taichou, Tousen-taichou," she said, bowing to the 7th division and 9th division captains.

"Do you know who could have done this?" asked Komamura, his voice slightly muffled by the large helmet.

"No Komamura-taichou…the most obvious theory would be that the ryoka killed him, but…" she paused, and frowned slightly.

"Yes Unohana-taichou?" prompted Tousen.

"There…is something odd about Aizen-taichou's corpse. I don't know what it is exactly…but…it's something to think about," she said, still slightly frowning.

"We will keep that in mind, Unohana-taichou," Tousen said, walking towards the door, "Let's go, Komamura."

Unohana also stood up, and took another look at Aizen's body.

…_Something, it's something…yet I cannot put my finger on it…his body looks normal, it's like any other corpse I've seen…yet something's just not right about it…_

--

Kenpachi was perched on one of the roofs that overlooked the Shishinrou unhappily fidgeting with his zanpaktou.

"Damnit!" he burst out, "When's the damn ryoka coming here!"

"Don't worry Ken-chan," said Yachiru leaning over his shoulder, "They're coming! I can feel it!"

"…you also said you could 'feel' the right direction to this place."

"And I was right! We're right here, right?"

"…after I demolished a few walls, yeah."

"I told Ken-chan to demolish the walls."

"No you didn't."

"I did!"

Kenpachi just muttered, "Brat," under his breath, but he really was grinning. This was great; the ryoka would have to come here sometime, since they wanted that death-row prisoner Kuchiki Rukia, since this was the place she was being held.

Besides, the ryoka had come by here yesterday afternoon (unfortunately he had still been lost then), but had been stopped by that punk Abarai Renji. Kenpachi remembered the guy as really ambitious when he had first arrived in the 11th division, and when he had finally made it to the position of vice-captain in the 6th division had gone out and gotten dead-drunk with Ikkaku. (Yumichika obviously hadn't gone with them; getting drunk was definitely not "beautiful".)

But besides all that, Abarai was a vice-captain, and vice-captain's were tough. (Just look at Yachiru, she could easily beat up all of the 11th division when she was really bored) But the ryoka had managed to beat Abarai, and then had suddenly disappeared.

There were rumors that they had taken a 4th division member hostage, and that that hostage was now helping them.

_The 4th division…wonder what Unohana's doing right now? Probably just fixing up some more bastards…_

_You know, it's really weird that there's that many guys in the 4th division, isn't the 3rd seat that weird blond guy with glasses? _

"Hey Yachiru," he said, stretching.

"Yeah Ken-chan?"

"What do you know about the 3rd seat of the 4th division?" he asked, in what he assumed would be a casual tone.

"Oh, Mister Glasses? He's weird! He's always muttering about how good-looking he is, and how he would look so much better without glasses!"

Inwardly, Kenpachi began to fume. _That guy thinks he's so good-looking! I bet he thinks he can get any woman he wants…wait, why am I so mad? Oh yeah, must be because the damn ryoka **still **haven't showed up. _

"…so he thinks he's really good?"

"Well," said Yachiru cocking her head to one side, "he thinks he's really good-looking. But since he's in the 4th division, he must be really weak!"

"…Yachiru, do you think Unohana would be mad if I sent that guy to the emergency ward?" he asked, fingering the hilt of his zanpaktou.

"Go ahead Ken-chan! It would be fun! Braid lady probably won't care that much either."

"Not that much?"

"Well…" Yachiru trailed off, putting a finger to her mouth, "she might smile at you, then drag you off and talk to you…maybe give you another examination!"

Kenpachi felt himself pale, "…okay that won't work."

"Mister Glasses is funny!" Yachiru exclaimed, bouncing up and down, "Every time I call him that, he gets mad at me, and I can kick him in the face! Baldy doesn't like him that much either, he's always telling him not to drink in the hospital. So Baldy threw a cup at Mister Glasses' face!"

Kenpachi grinned. _Reminder to self, after fighting the ryoka, buy a big bag of candy for Yachiru (and tell her to continue to annoy that guy), and give Ikkaku a raise. _

Just then, Yachiru began jumping up and down, "Ken-chan! Look, look!"

Kenpachi looked, and saw an orange haired shinigami running towards the Shishinsou, with two other people.

He grinned evilly, "So they're finally here!"

Yachiru beamed, "Have fun Ken-chan!"

--

A/N: What did you think? I liked this chapter…sorry if I bashed the 3rd seater too much (I forgot his name…) but it was too good of an opportunity to pass up. Please review!


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, I would be rich and famous. Since I'm neither, I obviously don't.

A/N: I'm SO SORRY for not updating in such a long time! I was in China for awhile, and didn't have much Internet access, so I couldn't type up a new chapter…anyway, because of FanFiction's new rules, I can't respond to any reviewers….but thank you all!

--

Unohana was still carefully writing her report to Yamamoto-taichou about Aizen-taichou's death, when Yachiru came bursting in through the sliding doors, literally.

"Braid lady!" she yelled, brushing off some of the shreds of paper that had landed on her head, "come help Ken-chan!"

Unohana quickly rose from her seat, "What happened?"

_Please don't tell me…that he's…dead?_

She quickly tried to brush away mental images of Zaraki's dead body lying in the white streets, in a puddle of blood, to almost no avail.

"Ken-chan was fighting Ichi!" said Yachiru, bouncing from foot to foot, "It looked like Ken-chan won at first, but then Ichi got up again! Ken-chan was having a lot of fun, he even took his eye-patch off, and he would have won, except Ichi had help!"

It took Unohana a few moments to figure out Yachiru's garbled message, "…was Ichi one of the ryoka?"

"Yes! He's the strongest one I think…"

Unohana bit her lip, "Then Zaraki-san…?"

"He's unconscious right now! Come on!" Yachiru rushed out of the shredded sliding door, and Unohana tried her best to keep up with the zooming pink blur.

_He's just unconscious…nothing else…that's good at least… _

She breathed a sigh of relief, and picked up speed.

--

By the time Unohana got to the Shishinrou, Zaraki was already awake, and talking with Yachiru.

"Stay still Ken-chan! I already called Braid lady over, she should be here soon!"

"I don't need a healer!"

"Yes you do!"

"No I don't!"

"Hello Zaraki-san," she said, kneeling by his side.

He turned his head towards her, "Hey, tell Yachiru that I don't need a healer, will you?"

She put a hand on his chest, and examined the wound.

…_it doesn't seem too bad now, so it shouldn't take too long for him to recover…_

"Actually, you do need a bit of medical attention…Zaraki-san," she said, getting the white bandages out of her emergency pouch, "how do you feel?"

"Like shit."

"Don't worry Ken-chan!" chirped the now cheerful Yachiru, "you'll be much better soon! Then you can play with Ichi again!"

"That reminds me," Unohana said, attempting to wrap the bandages around Zaraki, "Did you see a small black haired boy? We heard that the ryoka had taken him hostage…"

Yachiru put a finger to her lip, "…..there was a weak guy that looked kind of dopey and fell down when we came, right Ken-chan?"

"Think so…GAH! What the hell are you doing!" he yelled.

Unohana, completely unaffected by his cursing, continued to apply the medicine, "Please calm down Zaraki-san, if you continue to jerk around, the wound might get worse…"

He stared suspiciously at the bottle she was holding, "That isn't one of Robot freak's inventions is it?"

"Oh no, it's one that we came up with recently…it works quite well I think. Please roll over, Zaraki-san," she said, getting another roll of bandages out.

Still muttering curses, he jerked over a bit.

"Thank you," Unohana finished tying together the bandages, and stood up, "Now how to move you…?"

"Ah it's alright!" Yachiru said, propping Zaraki up by her shoulder, "I'll take Ken-chan back to 11th division!"

"…he's not too big for you, is he?"

Yachiru giggled, "Ken-chan's not that bad, though maybe he could lose some weight!"

"You're one to talk brat, you gained so much weight that you ripped my coat…" muttered Kenpachi.

"The coat was a bad coat, Ken-chan! Besides, you've got a newer and better one now!"

"Che…anyway, thanks Unohana."

Unohana bowed slightly, "It's only my duty, Zaraki-san. Oh, and please take it easy, you could reopen those wounds by fighting…"

Zaraki rolled his eyes, "Whatever."

"Bye-bye Braid lady!" Yachiru called out, as she zoomed away, with Zaraki in tow.

_But it wasn't really my duty, was it?_ Unohana thought as she walked back, _I could have just sent someone else over instead…but I didn't. It's…strange how worried I felt when Yachiru first came bursting in…what do you call this…_

She ignored the niggling sensation at the back of her mind, and continued to walk back to her division.

--

It was night now, as she set the kettle for another pot of tea.

_So…Hanatarou is back, seemingly not any worse for the wear…the ryoka are strange. They haven't killed anyone yet; for the most part they don't seem to want to…their objective seems to be to save Kuchiki Rukia, but why?_

She had poured herself a cup of warm tea, when Isane hurried banged open the newly repaired doors.

"Unohana-taichou!"

She set down the cup with a clink, and looked up, "Yes?"

_Now what bad news…?_

"It's Hinamori-fukutaichou, she seemed to have managed to escape her cell, and attacked Hitsugaya-taichou. Hitsugaya-taichou managed to immobilize her, and then attacked Ichimaru-taichou, but neither seems to have suffered any injuries…"

Unohana rose, "Then Hinamori-fukutaichou…?"

"She's unconscious now, but I think the events of the past few days have been a great trauma for her…"

_...ah, Aizen-taichou was her captain, wasn't he? And she was the first to see his body up on the wall too…_

"Did she suffer any injuries?"

"No, Unohana-taichou, but I think her mind may be in a state of shock."

"Was that why she attacked Hitsugaya-taichou?"

Isane shuffled, "I'm really not sure of the reason of why any of them attacked each other…all I know is that Hitsugaya-taichou seems really worried."

"As I suppose he would be," she turned to pick up her zanpaktou, "Let's go then…"

…_things are getting stranger and stranger…is there no hope for the answer of this whole mess to come soon?_

--

Kenpachi grinned as they prepared to find Ichigo the next day. It had been a lucky thing that Yachiru had found another one of the ryoka, a girl, and had brought her here.

_I can't wait to fight Ichigo again… _His grin grew a bit on the psychotic side, before he remembered what Unohana had said, _"Oh, and please take it easy, you could reopen those wounds by fighting…"_

_Che, I'll be fine…I didn't really need a healer in the first place! Although…what did she mean when she said, "It's only my duty,"? What the hell is that supposed to mean! _

He growled in irritation, _why am I even thinking like this! Why the hell should I give a damn to what she said! It means nothing!_

_**Or something…**_

_Not you again!_

"Something wrong, taichou?" Ikkaku asked, looking up.

"Nothing now shut the hell up!"

"What do you think is wrong with him, Yumi?" Ikkaku asked Yumichika in a whisper.

Yumichika tossed his hair back, "It should be obvious."

"Obvious?"

Yumichika sighed and shook his head, "You are so dumb Ikkaku….taichou is obviously thinking of a woman."

"A woman! …you've got to be kidding me!" Ikkaku yelled, accidentally.

Kenpachi looked up, murderous intent written all across his face, "What was that?"

"Ah, ah, nothing taichou!" both of them chorused.

He snorted, "If you have time to be gossiping to each other, than you can go ahead and do the rest of the paper work too."

"No seriously taichou, we're discussing matters of extreme importance to the 11th division!" said Yumichika quickly.

Kenpachi turned around again, still frowning.

"I'm not kidding," whispered Yumichika as they resumed their conversation, "see the way he's frowning? It **must **be love life problems!"

"…you can say all you want Yumi, but I've never even seen taichou look at a girl in that way."

"He took Unohana-taichou out on a date," Yumichika pointed out.

Ikkaku rubbed his chin, "…now there's a good explanation…or not. Unohana-taichou is the _4th division's captain_!"

"So?" asked Yumichika, his eyes glittering, "Love can always find a way! Just look at you and Nemu."

Ikkaku went red, "_What!_"

"She's much too beautiful for you, and yet you're together!"

It was at that point that Yumichika began to be chased around the room by a red Ikkaku screaming, "Shut up already about it!"

Orihime watched them with wide eyes, "Ano…shouldn't someone stop them?"

Yachiru glanced at them, both of her hands propping up her head, "Hm? Oh you mean Baldy and Peacock? No, this is more interesting than chewing on Baldy's head or pulling Peacock's eyelashes!"

Orihime blinked a few times.

…_the Soul Society is weird…and I thought there might be mechas here…_

--

A/N: How was it? I hoped you liked it, and please review! I'm sorry if I made Yumichika a bit OOC…I will try to update again soon, but there are no guarantees…oh, and what does Zaraki call Mayuri anyway?


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Sure, I own Bleach. If you believe that, you're an idiot.

A/N: …well, only four people reviewed last time…ah, well. Anyway, this fic is almost based totally around the manga, so if something happens in the anime that's different, sorry, didn't know about it. Oh, and sorry if this fic jumps through events….

--

Kenpachi was bored now. He had already defeated the justice-babbling Tousen, and the bastard wolf had run off without giving him a good fight. To make matters worse, he was stuck with Yumichika, who seemed to be more fruity than usual right now.

"I'm so happy!" trilled Yumichika, practically dancing, "Happy, happy, happy!"

Kenpachi twitched, and yelled, "Shut the hell up already Yumichika!"

"Yes taichou!"

Kenpachi groaned and rubbed his head. Yachiru singing was alright, he was used to that. Besides, she's a girl, and girls (especially hyper-active ones) are supposed to sing stuff like that. But Yumichika on the other hand…

Kenpachi stopped in his tracks to stare at him, "…are you _skipping!_"

Yumichika resumed a normal walk, "No Zaraki-taichou."

Kenpachi shook his head, and thought, _the sooner we find Ikkaku, the better. _

--

Unohana released her zanpaktou, Minatzuki, climbed on top of it, and motioned for Isane to follow.

_This is bad…_she thought as Minatzuki flew, _Aizen is the one behind all this…for what reason I have no idea, but if that wasn't bad enough, Gin and Tousen are both helping him…three captains, all dangerous. Most dangerous however is still Aizen…he defeated Hitsugaya-taichou's Ban Kai in a few seconds! What should I do, all the other captains seem to be busy fighting the ryoka…_

"...hana-taichou? Unohana-taichou?"

Unohana looked up, realizing that Isane had been trying to tell her something. "Yes?"

"We have to tell someone, Unohana-taichou! Or else Aizen will—"

Unohana gently interrupted, "Aizen's plan seems to have mostly been carried out for now. There isn't much we can do, and the fact that Aizen didn't simply eliminate us implies that it doesn't matter anymore if anyone knows that he is a traitor. Everyone will soon know anyway…"

"But we have to do something!" cried Isane, her eyes wide.

Unohana pondered that for a bit. _…I heard that Zaraki-san is on the ryoka's side now…for some reason. Perhaps we should look for him; he's strong enough to take on Aizen, even with his wounds…_

_**You're not just thinking that because you want to see him, right?**_

…_it's impossible I could be thinking like this at this sort of time…besides, I felt Tousen-taichou and Komamura-taichou's Ban Kai release, and Zaraki-san is the only one strong enough to fight both of them, even if he isn't really supposed to be fighting…_

She clenched her hand slightly, _how irritating that man is at times…I specifically tell him not to fight, and what does he do? Run out of the 4th division, and find to captains to do battle with. _

She patted Minatzuki's back, and said, "Let's try to find Zaraki-taichou."

Isane wondered at her taichou's sanity about then. _Zaraki-taichou! Well, I guess it's a good pick for right now, since he is strong…but still! He won't try to kill us, will he…? The 11th division really doesn't like the 4th division after all…but Zaraki-taichou took Unohana-taichou out to lunch one time! Maybe we'll be okay! …I don't like this…_

--

Kenpachi was about to take out his zanpaktou and _bash it into Yumichika's damn fruity head, _when a big manta ray one eyed thing landed right in front of him.

He blinked, "What—"

"Didn't I tell you not to fight, Zaraki-san?" A soft voice asked.

He jerked around, to see Unohana climb off the big manta ray thing, walk straight up to him, and slap him.

"…what the hell!" he finally managed to sputter out, rubbing his stinging cheek.

She drew her hand back, "I can't seem to make you stop fighting, even when you do have an injury…"

Kenpachi twitched a bit, yet somehow managed to hold in his temper, "That's no reason to go ahead and attack me, woman!"

"Well, excuse me if a little slap like that counted as an attack, Zaraki-san." Somehow, coming from Unohana, it didn't sound sarcastic at all.

Kenpachi took a step forward, causing the already hyperventilating Isane to nearly faint in sheer terror, "Woman, I'm warning you…"

Unohana looked him straight in the eye, "Zaraki-san, did you know that Aizen has been orchestrating this entire situation in the Soul Society right now?"

Kenpachi took a few seconds to process that, "_Aizen!_ Aizen as in, I'm-an-all-around-nice-guy-goody-two-shoes-dork Aizen! The _dead _Aizen! What the fuck!"

"Hai, Aizen wasn't really dead…and Ichimaru and Tousen seem to also be his followers…I'm not really sure what they want to do, but it has something to do with Kuchiki Rukia."

Kenpachi snorted, "Look it's Aizen we're talking about, right? His zanpaktou is pathetic, it just uses, what, mist to confuse people. Oh so scary. He doesn't stand a chance against any of the other captains, and the other two? Ichimaru's a slanty-eyed idiot whose zanpaktou is just weird, and Tousen's Ban Kai got boring real fast. Besides…you're the 4th division captain, how come you didn't know that Aizen wasn't dead?"

Unohana's eyes narrowed a bit, "…we were mistaken about the nature of Aizen's zanpaktou. Its ability is apparently not reflecting things off fog and mist to confuse enemies, its ability is absolute hypnosis. All he had to do was show us the awakening of Kyouka Suigetsu, and he can control all five senses…"

Kenpachi whistled, "A lot less whimpy than I thought then. But…" he paused for a moment.

"Yes?"

"How do you know all that?" he finally asked, moving his hand a bit closer to his zanpaktou.

Isane picked up the shreds of her courage, and managed to burst out outraged, "Zaraki-taichou, _how dare you even think **Unohana-taichou **could be involved in this mess!"_

Kenpachi raised his eyebrows, "…wow, didn't expect that."

Yumichika decided to pick this moment to speak, tossing his hair back slightly, "Zaraki-taichou, you have no finesse with women."

Kenpachi twitched, "_What?_"

Completely oblivious, Yumichika continued to talk, "Unohana-taichou could obviously not be involved in this nefarious plan of former Aizen-taichou, who by the way I never even considered beautiful, as Unohana-taichou is much too gentle of a soul to be involved!"

Unohana bowed her head slightly in his direction, unfortunately encouraging Yumichika, "Also," he then turned to Isane who looked already slightly bewildered, "do you think my robe looks alright?"

Isane blinked. _Nope, still not comprehending… _She blinked again, "…your…robe?"

"Of course my robe!" Yumichika exclaimed, flicking a strand of hair back, "I changed robes a few minutes ago, since the hem of my other one got dirty in the fight with Hisagi-fukutaichou, but this robe isn't as good as the other one was…what do you think?"

Unohana turned to Kenpachi, "…I take it that your 5th seat in usually like this, and this…odd behavior is not a product of some injury?"

Kenpachi snorted, "You mean Yumi? He's a bit more fruity than usual right now, but it's not that far from his normal behavior…I was looking for Ikkaku, have you seen him?"

Unohana shook her head, "Your 3rd seat? …not since all of you ran away from my division."

"Oh…that," he said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head, "…we thought we felt fine, so we just went back to the 11th division."

"Next time please do try to refrain yourself, and the rest of your division from leaving, for it causes problems in the end for both of our divisions," she said coldly.

"Well god, if it means so much to you then sure," he muttered, starting to walk down another street, "Oy, Yumi!"

Yumichika stopped complaining about the deficiencies of his new robe, and turned, "Yes Zaraki-taichou?"

"Get your ass over here, and find Ikkaku already, no one gives a damn about your clothes."

Yumichika made a face, but hurried over, "Zaraki-taichou, clothes make a big impression on everyone that sees you; it's the first thing they notice! That's why the captains have their jackets, and the vice-captains have their badges."

"Sure Yumi, just find the damn Baldy already."

Unohana walked quickly up to Kenpachi, "...I could look for Madarame-san if you wish, Zaraki-san."

He shrugged, "Sure, knock yourself out. I think the bastard's fighting Iba somewhere…Yumi, stop skipping! It makes you look like a little girl!"

Yumichika went into a smoother walk, while sulking a bit, "Hai, Zaraki-taichou…"

Kenpachi muttered, "Fruity bastard…or bitch," under his breath, and then turned again to Unohana, "Oh, and drop the formalities, it gets annoying. Besides, don't you have other stuff to do besides look for my idiotic 3rd seat?"

Unohana looked off to the side, "…ah, I think that was Yamamoto-taichou releasing his zanpaktou…I'll go take a look, perhaps your 3rd seat will be around there…"

She released her zanpaktou, and climbed onto it, "Isane, come along."

"Hai, Unohana-taichou!"

As Minatzuki flew away, Kenpachi frowned. _…damn woman, she's just weird. Didn't even answer my question, really. _

"Is something wrong, Zaraki-taichou?" Yumichika asked.

Kenpachi said sharply, "No. Have you found the damn bastard yet?"

Inwardly Yumichika was gloating, (_Hah! See Ikkaku? I was right, Zaraki-taichou does have problems with his love life, and his interest is solely directed at Unohana-taichou! I would love to help him…but Zaraki-taichou would probably kill me if I even suggested it. Ah well, some people just don't know what's good for them…his loss.)_ but he knew better than to show it on his face, "Almost Zaraki-taichou, I think."

Kenpachi groaned, "You better hurry up already, because if Yachiru arrives, and the bastard isn't here yet…" he trailed off.

Yumichika paled, and began to work much harder in trying to figure out where Ikkaku went, all for the sake so that Yachiru wouldn't be the first one to find him.

--

Unohana peered down from Minatzuki, _no sign of Madarame-san yet…I wonder if Zaraki-san has had more luck?_

_**He told you to drop the formalities already…**_

Unohana felt a bit of heat rush to her face, and rubbed her face, _…I'm not blushing. This is not blushing. It is simply the strain of today._

_**Go ahead and tell yourself that if it makes you feel any better…**_

_Zaraki-san is Zaraki-san; I'm helping him because Madarame-san will be of great help in capturing Aizen._

_**Oh really? **_

Isane noticed her captain's small frown, "…is something wrong, Unohana-taichou?"

Unohana quickly shook her head, "Oh, nothing is wrong…"

_Except for the fact that I'm not sure what exactly I'm feeling anymore…_

--

A/N: I hope you liked this chapter, since I tried to add more Zaraki/Unohana scenes…please review! And give me ideas for later chapters, since none of them have appeared for awhile…


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own Bleach.

A/N: I'm sorry for the some misinformation in the last chapter, but I hope it turned out alright… Anyway, this is the last chapter until the manga makes either Zaraki or Unohana reappear, and hopefully soon. Hope you like this!

--

Kenpachi grinned as he carefully opened a window, and began to climb out of it. _Hah, why didn't I think of this before? There's no way she's going to—_

"What are you doing, Zaraki-san?" asked a calm voice behind him.

He whirled around so fast that he nearly fell out of the window anyway, "…I'm um…checking out the scenery?"

"Is that so?" asked Unohana, placing one hand on his shoulder, "Then could you advise your division to not be quite as rowdy, Zaraki-san? They already managed to hit one of my division in the face with a plate…"

Kenpachi shrugged, dislodging the hand, "Sure."

He marched off to the ward where most of his division was kept, silently fuming. _Damn it to hell! That woman just won't let me out of this place, and I'm fine. This place is boring; they won't even let you fight! Damn, I couldn't even catch Ichigo for a rematch…_

A speeding pink blur quickly climbed onto his shoulder, "Braid lady caught you again, didn't she Ken-chan?"

"Don't get how she managed to find me again…next time Yachiru, you are going to distract her, so I can actually get a breath of fresh air," Kenpachi said, not stopping.

"Alright Ken-chan!" chirped Yachiru from her relatively high position, "Where are we going?"

Kenpachi's mouth twisted into a feral grin, "We're going to 'advise our division not to be quite so rowdy'."

Yachiru beamed, "That sounds like a lot of fun! Can I try a new trick?"

"As long as it isn't anything that breaks walls, or else Unohana's going to get mad at us…" he involuntarily shuddered.

"But I _can _twirl them around and around until they puke, right Ken-chan?" asked Yachiru, worriedly.

"Sure, as long as you don't make them puke on me."

Yachiru grinned evilly, "Okay!"

--

"**_And don't do anything that will make Unohana come to me about it, is that clear!" _**Kenpachi finally finished yelling at the puking, groaning, bruised, being chewed on (Ikkaku) group.

"**_Hai, Zaraki-taichou!" _**the whole miserable group yelled out.

"Alright then, come on Yachiru." said Kenpachi turning to move out of the room.

"Woont want wu wo," Yachiru managed, still chewing Ikkaku's head.

"What?"

Yachiru momentarily let Ikkaku's head go, "Don't want to go."

Kenpachi shrugged, "Suit yourself, just don't tear off Ikkaku's head."

When Kenpachi finally left the room, the whole room gave out a sigh.

"Wow, that was scary, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, and we already got threatened by Unohana-taichou! You'd think that'd be enough of a punishment…"

"Yeah, but why do you think taichou yelled at us about it? He usually doesn't mind us picking on the 4th division…"

"Isn't it obvious?" said Yumichika, sipping his tea, "Zaraki-taichou is very much enamored of Unohana-taichou."

The room was suddenly silent. Then…

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

One man wiped his eyes, "Oh my god Ayasegawa-san that was the funniest joke I've heard in a long time."

Yumichika fired a deadly glare over at that man, "I'm not kidding," he said frostily, "Have you noticed how Zaraki-taichou watched Unohana-taichou? He's never acted that way before, besides Zaraki-taichou _did _take Unohana-taichou out on a date once."

"I heard of that…thought it was just a rumor."

"Nah," said Ikkaku, still trying to pry Yachiru off his head, "heard it from Renji; they just came in and started eating."

Yachiru lifted her head up for a moment, "Yep! I set them up!"

The whole room was now murmuring.

"No _way_…I mean our taichou with the wimpiest division's captain?"

"But Unohana-taichou's scary…"

Yumichika haughtily lifted his head, "I bet everyone five drinks that Zaraki-taichou will kiss Unohana-taichou before next year."

Now the whole room roared in unison, "**_You're on!"_**

--

Kenpachi walked through the 4th division without any real destination in mind. He was just bored out of his mind, and was itching for a proper fight.

Taking a left turn he was now in front of another room, and was about to leave, when he caught sight of Unohana.

_Damn, I keep on running into that woman, now if I could just—_

She was rebinding Kuchiki Byakuya's wound, which meant that _her_ hands were on _his _chest. Not only that, but rich boy Kuchiki had a weird expression on his face as he watched her. Something like…gentleness?

Kenpachi felt his stomach clench, _okay what the hell am I doing here? Doesn't matter, I'll just leave—_

He saw her raise her head and give a pretty smile to the rich bastard.

All of the sudden, all Kenpachi felt like doing was going in there and _beating the shit out of the stupid, rich, prissy, Kuchiki. _

It took all of the self control he could muster to stumble out of that hall, and punch a huge hole in the wall.

…_damnit, _he thought, looking at his bloody hand, _damnit to hell. _

--

**_Crack. _**

Unohana looked up from her task, eyebrows raised. _…oh dear, that sounded ominous…whatever that was, it's going to take a bit to fix…_

She finished tying the bandage, and said, "Very well Kuchiki-taichou, I hope you feel better soon."

He nodded silently, and then turned to look out of the window again.

As she silently walked down the hall, she remembered Hisana. _A very pretty lady…but quite fragile. And of course…Kuchiki-taichou really does miss her. He sees her in any lady with black hair, I think…_

Turning the corner, she bumped straight into Zaraki.

"Ah, sorry—what happened to your hand?" she looked at his fist, all bloody, and then at the enormous hole in the wall. _What…?_

"None of your business," he snapped, quickly walking away.

She hurried after him, slightly frowning, "Zaraki-san…did you just punch a hole into the wall?"

"So what if I did?" he said, not turning around.

"For your recovery, you shouldn't do that…here," she said, lightly putting a hand on his arm, "my office is this way…"

He jerked his arm away, "I don't need it."

"Zaraki-san—"

"Look," he said, finally turning around with his mouth twisted into a grimace, "I just said I don't need anything. Got it? Besides," he added in a scathing tone, "I'm giving you more time to be with your rich, noble boyfriend, right?"

Unohana was startled, "…what? But…"

He gave a bark of laughter, "Didn't think I knew that, did you? Doesn't matter anyway…" he quickly strided off, leaving Unohana standing there rooted to the floor.

…_what? What was he even talking about? I don't have a boyfriend and certainly not a rich noble one…I don't understand…_

--

Ikkaku grumbled from under the table, "Remind me, what _the hell_ are we doing here, Yumi!"

Yumichika made some hushing noises, and then crept out from the shadow of the bookcase, "We are trying to help our taichou's love life."

"Bull, you just don't want to buy everyone drinks."

Yumichika shrugged, "That's beside the point, the point is that—"

"That 'we must help Zaraki-taichou admit his feelings toward Unohana-taichou as neither are very proficient in this task, and maybe Unohana-taichou can make a lasting impression on Yachiru'," recited Ikkaku tiredly, rubbing his head, "Do you even have a plan?"

"Of course I do," said Yumichika, throwing Ikkaku a withering glare.

Ikkaku stared back, unfazed, "Sure you do, what is it?"

Yumichika drew himself up to his whole height, "Our first step includes taking a look at Zaraki-taichou, to see if he will make a move anytime soon."

Ikkaku stared at him, speechless, "…hold on Yumi, I thought I just heard you say that we're going to spy on taichou."

"We're not going to spy on him; we're just going to take a look!"

"Are you insane! If Zaraki-taichou catches us…" Ikkaku shivered.

"He won't. Come on."

The two of them carefully crept around, narrowly dodging 4th division members, until they arrived in front of Zaraki's room. They had a quick argument of who was to open the door, which was solved with a game of paper, rock, scissors. (Ikkaku lost.)

The door was carefully pushed open just a bit, to reveal Zaraki sitting in his dark room, glaring at the wall.

"Okay," whispered Ikkaku, "we looked. Can we go now?"

"Not yet," Yumichika hissed back, "let's see if he does anything soon."

They stood there for quite a few minutes, until a soft hand fell on each of their shoulders.

"Madarame-san, Ayesagawa-san…may I ask what you're doing here?" Unohana asked calmly.

"We, uh…"

Zaraki whirled around, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Well taichou, we um…"

"Not you two clowns," he snapped, "her."

Unohana quietly said, "Well, Zaraki-san…may I talk to you for a moment?"

He grunted, "Sure."

As Unohana stepped into his room, he glared at his 3rd seat and 5th seat, "What the hell are you two still doing here? Scram."

Ikkaku and Yumichika quickly ran away, both relieved to be alive.

"Last time I'm ever listening to one of your ideas, Yumi."

Yumichika deemed that it would not be beautiful to respond.

--

Unohana closed the door, and poured some tea, while Kenpachi just sat there, not speaking.

"…may I ask what I have done to cause such a reaction, Zaraki-san?"

"You just did," he responded sourly.

She sipped from her cup, "Will you answer?"

They sat like this, Unohana sipping her tea calmly, Kenpachi glaring at the steam rising from his cup, until Kenpachi abruptly said, "I didn't think you were the type to like rich snobs."

Unohana put down her cup with a faint _clink, _"…I still have not figured out your comments from before, so will you forgive me if I say I still don't understand what you're saying?"

Kenpachi grabbed his cup, and swallowed the tea in one big gulp, "Kuchiki Byakuya," he spat out.

"What about him?"

"Isn't he your boyfriend or something?"

Unohana choked on her tea, "…pardon me, but Zaraki-san did you just say that Kuchiki-taichou is my boyfriend?"

He leaned back challenging her, "Isn't that right?"

Unohana began to laughing, and covered her mouth with her hand, "…I'm sorry Zaraki-san, but that is the most amusing thing I've heard in awhile… No, it's not true," she said, straightening, "Kuchiki-taichou is simply my patient, who sees a resemblance of his deceased wife in almost every black haired girl…"

"…deceased wife?"

Unohana nodded, "Her name was Hisana…she was the older sister of Kuchiki Rukia, and much resembles her…a very delicate girl. But, will you permit me to ask how you came to this conclusion?"

Kenpachi coughed, and looked awkwardly around the room, "…you should stop being so polite for a minute, it's annoying."

"Very well, but then explain."

"I…saw you wrapping up his wound and…well, you smiled at him, and he was already looking at you weirdly so yeah…" he finished, fully realizing how lame it sounded.

Unohana smiled, "I see…but what caused you to punch the wall?"

Kenpachi had just opened his mouth, when Isane came rushing into the room, "Ah, pardon me Zaraki-taichou, Unohana-taichou," she said hurriedly, bowing quickly, "but Unohana-taichou, Kuchiki Rukia has disappeared!"

Unohana stood up quickly, "When was she last seen?"

"I'm not sure…"

"Alright then, we'll search the division…ah, good-bye Zaraki-san," she said, walking out of the room.

Kenpachi stared at the tea. _But why was I that mad anyway? I know it's not true the whole thing of Unohana going out with Kuchiki, but why does that fact make me feel…relieved? It doesn't make any sense, I already know there'd be no fun in fighting Kuchiki with gay-ass zanpaktou, but when I saw them…it must just be because I felt sick. Yeah, that's right, I suddenly felt kind of nauseous, must have been something I ate, and that made me punch the wall. Yeah, that's right. _

…_**that's the most lame-ass excuse I've heard. **_

--

A/N: It was a pretty long chapter this time, wasn't it? Like I said, I might or might not come up with another idea for the next chapter soon, but it all depends on the manga…so please review! And if you have any good ideas, please tell me.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, I wouldn't be scrounging up money to purchase manga, so obviously I don't own Bleach.

A/N: Okay, I have finally come up with a small idea for a chapter until either Unohana or Zaraki reappears in the manga. Hope you like it!

--

Kenpachi glared at his zanpaktou propped against the wall. _Okay, damnit, this better work, or else I'm going to feel really stupid…_

"Hey, I never really tried to get to know you, and I already tried once after Ichigo beat me…but you didn't answer that time. Will you answer me now? What's your name?"

The zanpaktou stayed silent.

Kenpachi put his hand on his forehead, "…well, what did I expect, of course it didn't work."

"Zaraki-san?"

He nearly jumped, and spun around to see Unohana quietly watching him, "When did you get here!"

"Ah, just a few seconds ago… Kurotshuchi-taichou has asked you to remove Yachiru from his division…"

"When did she get in there?"

Unohana lightly shrugged, "I have no idea…"

He lifted himself up and grabbed his zanpaktou, "Well then, this will be fun…haven't fought with robot freak in a long time."

Unohana watched his retreating back, and smiled. _You seem to be alright, Zaraki-san…same as ever, even with your 3rd and 5th seat in the mortal world…and you seem to be trying to figure out your zanpaktou. You're strong enough without knowing it, so if you succeed… _She looked towards the sky, _well, Aizen and the rest of them will most likely have more trouble. _

--

"Zaraki! Get this filthy pink blob away, it keeps throwing dead animals at _my _experiments!" screeched Mayuri, pointing at Yachiru who was still busily tearing up a raccoon, and then throwing it at random things in the 12th division.

"Thought you liked dead things Kurotshuchi, seeing as how many of them you've got lying around."

"_Not dead animals you fool!"_ Mayuri was quickly twitching away, looking as if he was having a spasm.

"Neh, neh, Ken-chan!" Yachiru said, scrambling onto his shoulder, "I'm bored!"

"What, you already killed all the animals?"

"No, but it's boring now. At first it was fun throwing the guts at Robot Freak, but when he screeches it hurts my ears…so now let's do something else!"

"And don't come back!" Mayuri screamed as he slammed the door.

Yachiru sighed, "…I want Baldy to come back!"

Kenpachi watched Nemu quietly walk towards Mayuri who was screaming at her, "I don't think you're the only one. The bastard better not get himself killed, or else I'll have to find a new 3rd seat…"

Yachiru sighed again, then perked up, "Neh, I have an idea!"

"What?"

"Let's put blood in the sake that Really Big Booby and Blond Cockroach are drinking!"

"…sounds good."

--

Matsumoto spat out the sake, "What the hell? Kira, where did you buy this?"

Kira morosely looked up, "Yesterday, why Matsumoto-san?"

She held up a cup, "Try it."

He blinked and drank some. His face quickly turned green, and he spat it back out, "…water, need water. _Now!_" He flash stepped out the door in search of the elusive water.

Yachiru giggled from the roof, "Blond cockroach looks funny, doesn't he Ken-chan?"

"Serves the wimp right," Kenpachi said, nodding.

"Let's go mess up other stuff! Like…" she poked her lip with her finger, "…let's go switch the medical supplies!"

Kenpachi shook his head vigorously, causing the bells to ring, "No."

"But why not?" Yachiru whined.

"Unohana would kill us, so pick something else to do that doesn't have to do with the 4th division."

Yachiru skipped around, waving the dead squirrel, "Aw….fine. Let's go put the guts in Pink Man's sake!"

"Now that I can agree with…"

--

Unohana sighed as another person was wheeled in, "And the cause of this one is?"

The 4th division member saluted, "Hai, Unohana-taichou. All of the casualties this morning seem to have come from food poisoning, mostly from blood or intestines of animals. No one is seriously ill, but they might have to stay a day in recovery."

"Why is it that so many people now have food poisoning?"

"The blood and intestines seem to have been placed in many jars of sake…and Kyouraku-taichou was having a party where much sake was consumed, so one thing led to another."

"I see, so how did the blood or intestines of animals appear in the sake?"

"We are still investigating the cause, Unohana-taichou."

Unohana nodded, then walked out the door.

"Unohana-taichou, where are you going?"

"I think I know what caused the food poisoning…"

--

Yachiru was happily drawing with crayons and blood, when Unohana walked through. She looked up and beamed, "Hello Braid lady!"

"Hello Yachiru…would you happen to know anything about people getting very sick after drinking some sake?" asked Unohana smiling quietly.

Yachiru pouted, "It was fun at first, but then it got boring. Ken-chan wouldn't let me mess up your medical supplies, or anything to do with your division, so the sake thing was all I could do."

Unohana nodded, "So that's why…where is Zaraki-san?"

Yachiru pointed down the hall, "Ken-chan's over there, he told me to tell everyone that 'if you don't fucking want to die, don't come in'."

Unohana calmly walked down the hall, and let herself in.

Kenpachi snarled, "I told you, _if you don't fucking want to die—"_

"—don't come in, yes, I already heard that from Yachiru."

Kenpachi slightly paled, "…what do you want Unohana?"

She sat down, "Do you know that right now my division has their hands full with trying to help a large group of people who developed food poisoning after drinking some sake?"

Kenpachi laughed, albeit a bit nervously, "Oh, that. Well, Yachiru was bored out of her mind without Ikkaku here, and she had a bunch of dead animals with her…"

She smiled, "It won't happen again, will it Zaraki-san?"

He quickly shook her head, "No, it won't."

She turned to leave, and then paused.

"Yeah?"

"I heard from her that at first she wanted to mess with my division's medical supplies?" was her soft question.

He scratched the back of his neck, "Yeah, that's what she wanted to do, except I got her out of that."

"Why did you prevent her from messing around the 4th division?" Unohana asked, her head lowered.

He blinked, "Well…that would make you mad, wouldn't it?"

"Is…that it?"

He blinked again, "…what else would there be?"

She quickly waved her hand in front of her, "Oh no, nothing, I was just talking to myself…" Inwardly she flushed, _Really, how much more obvious can you get? Not much, the only thing left to do is scream for the whole Soul Society to hear that I would like Zaraki-san to more than just friendly to me—wait, what prompted that thought? I…really don't know what I'm thinking these days…_

She looked up again to see Kenpachi staring intently at his zanpaktou propped against the door, "…what are you doing Zaraki-san?"

He sighed, and looked over, "…how did you figure out your zanpaktou's name?"

"Minatzuki? …when I first received him, I found him whispering his name in my mind, so I've known it since."

His mouth twisted into a smirk, "Sounds so easy coming from you…but I just don't know my own zanpaktou's name no matter how hard I try," his mouth suddenly twisted into a frown, "Hell, even Ichigo knows his zanpaktou's name, and he isn't even really a shinigami!"

"Even if he isn't a real shinigami, he really does make up for that in sheer power, Zaraki-san."

"True, but damnit! I want to get stronger!"

"…is that why you're trying to find your zanpaktou's name?"

He shrugged, "That and…before I met Yachiru, I wondered around Rukongai nameless. It's really not much fun…having no name. But you've probably already heard that story about my name, haven't you?"

She carefully poured some tea, "Hai, you named yourself Kenpachi, the name given to the strongest shinigami of every generation."

"Yeah…I named myself that the same day I met and named Yachiru. Anyway, my zanpaktou must be pretty pissed having no name, so I'm trying to figure it out," he then swilled down his tea, and went back to staring at the zanpaktou.

She watched him for a little while before suggesting, "Zaraki-san? In the Academy I think that they tell their students to mediate to get to know their zanpaktou better."

He looked at her like she was crazy, "…meditate?"

She nodded.

"…Hell, no. I'm going to do this my way."

She nodded, and then walked to the door.

"Oh, by the way Unohana?"

"Yes?"

He turned around, holding a white porcelain cup in his hand, "Thanks for the tea."

She smiled and quickly bowed her head, "That is no problem."

As she left, Kenpachi turned his attention to the tea. _…she came over to talk about the goried up sake, didn't she? And somehow the conversation headed over to names…and what was that whole thing about why I stopped Yachiru from messing around the 4th division? I did it because I didn't want a pissed off Unohana at me…and that's it. Yeah, it's not like I want to help her out or anything. Yeah. _

The disagreeable part of his mind randomly said, **_…Yachiru's going to need a mom once she hits a certain age. _**

…_I didn't think that, seriously, it wasn't me. Damn, am I going insane?_

_--_

A/N: And I have finished the long awaited update! So please review, and give me other ideas! (Although, like I said, updates will few until one of them reappear in the manga…)


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: The day I own Bleach, I swear I'll throw a party for all my friends and reviewers. However, it has obviously not happened yet.

A/N: I was inspired by chapter 224 to make a new chapter…no it doesn't have Unohana or Zaraki, but since Hinamori was Unohana's patient, I thought that it was good way to make chapter. Aren't you glad?

--

Unohana quietly put Hinamori on a stretcher, and nodded her thanks to Yamamoto, "Thank you Yamamoto-taichou."

Yamamoto shook his head, "I am simply returning your patient to you…although, what is Hinamori-fukutaichou's condition?"

Unohana placed a hand on Hinamori's forehead, "Physically she will recover with some more rest. Psychologically though…that is hard to say. As it has been demonstrated today, she still believes Aizen innocent of all crimes."

"That is grave indeed…we need all the shinigami we can get at this point, Aizen's Arrancars are extremely powerful. An unstable vice-captain is a liability to all of us…especially if she still believes our main enemy completely innocent of all he has done."

Unohana nodded in agreement, "I will put her through therapy, but it really all depends on Hinamori-fukutaichou herself, to decide whether or not she will continue with her belief. We can not force her to believe anything."

Yamamoto sighed, "The damage Aizen has done…if anyone had told me this fifty years earlier, I would have asked them if they had drank too much."

"None of us would have believed it," replied Unohana.

"Aizen's treachery…how deep it has grown, we still are just finding out."

--

Sighing, Unohana carefully sorted through her boxes of tea leaves. _It has been a most stressful day, _she thought, examining the jasmine tea leaves, then replaced it back on the shelf, _besides tending to everyone else, Hinamori-fukutaichou's condition is the most heart wrenching, strangely enough. The main problem is that the "condition", as I put it, is in her mind._

She had just decided on the customary green tea leaves, when her door slid open. Zaraki was standing there, quickly glancing around the room.

"Zaraki-san?"

"Have you seen Yachiru?" asked Zaraki, looking more ferocious than usual, as he was scowling.

"No, I haven't…is something wrong?"

"Not really," he said, his fingers beating an uneven rhythm on the door, "it's just that usually she's back by now, yelling for a story."

She stood up, putting the box of tea leaves down, "I could help you find her…"

"No, it's fine—"

A member of the 4th division ran up to the door, blanched when he saw Zaraki, and then stood at attention, "Unohana-taichou!"

"Yes?"

"Hinamori-fukutaichou attempted to escape through an open window to, we assume, the 5th division, but she was safely apprehended, and is now under sedation."

"Have you put a barrier on the window and door of the room?"

"Yes we have, Unohana-taichou."

"Who was the person who brought Hinamori-fukutaichou back?"

"Ah…we believe it was Kusajishi-fukutaichou."

Zaraki's scowl became much less defined, "So that's where the brat disappeared to…where is she now?"

The 4th division member quailed at his stare, "S-she's in Hinamori-fukutaichou's room."

Zaraki looked at Unohana, "I can go in, right?"

Unohana nodded, and then rose, "Yes…I want to check on Hinamori-fukutaichou anyway."

As the two captains walked away, the 4th division member breathed a sigh of relief. _I'm so glad I wasn't killed by Zaraki-taichou…although it was weird that he asked for Unohana-taichou's permission…I thought he never asked for anything! Maybe he's kind of scared of Unohana-taichou also, since all the other 11th division members are anyway? Or…could those rumors be true? Nah, couldn't happen in a million years…could it? They always say that opposites attract…weirdest couple in all of Soul Society then. _

--

When Zaraki walked through the door, and pink blur automatically whizzed past him, and landed on his shoulder, "Hi Ken-chan!"

Zaraki grunted, moving his hand as if to swat Yachiru, "Stupid brat, what were you doing hanging around the 4th division? It's almost your bed time."

Yachiru stuck out her tongue, "Nah, nah, it's not my bed time! I'm not sleepy!"

Unohana quietly interrupted the friendly banter, and asked, "Why were you hanging around the 4th division though, Yachiru?"

"I thought you would give some candy, since Ken-chan banned it for a whole week—"

"Obviously," muttered Zaraki, "last time you got hold of a big bag of candy, you went ahead and painted the entire division pink."

"I was making it pretty! Besides, I was going to add some blood after the paint dried! Anyway, I was going to ask if I could have some candy, when I someone sneaking out the window! Ken-chan always tells me that if you see someone sneaking out of somewhere using the window, you should at least go over there to check it out!"

Zaraki nodded, "Damn right, it's almost always a thief. And when it's not, it's usually Ikkaku sneaking out to see Kurotsuchi's daughter."

"So then," continued Yachiru, waving her hands, "I went over to see who it was. It was Peachy! I thought Peachy was supposed to stay in the 4th division, since the last time I saw her she was asleep like Sleeping Beauty, so I asked why she was sneaking out. She said that she was trying to go back to the 5th division, because Evil Glasses must have left some clues for her there."

Unohana looked at Zaraki, and asked, "Evil Glasses?"

Zaraki nodded, and said, "Well, he's evil, and he used to wear glasses. Perfectly normal nickname, isn't it?"

Yachiru nodded eagerly, "I didn't like him from the beginning anyway! He wouldn't fight anyone, which was really weird…so, I didn't think that Peachy should go back to try and find Evil Glasses, since he's evil, so I told her that. She got really upset, and started yelling that Evil Glasses wasn't evil, and that he must have been tricked by Pointy Fox or something. I told her that I didn't think that would happen, so Peachy started shrieking that it was the only explanation."

Unohana looked at Hinamori's now peaceful sleeping form, _You admired Aizen to the point of turning him into a god, didn't you? It must have been earth shattering for you, when you found out he was the traitor._

Yachiru went on with her story, "Peachy shrieks really loud, so I decided that she must be sick. I grabbed her, and ran into the 4th division, and some nurse people took her from me. Will Peachy get better?" she asked Unohana.

"I'm not sure," stated Unohana, "Her worst scars are all in her psyche right now, and those problems are much more difficult to solve than just simple cuts."

Yachiru cocked her head to the left, "Scars in her psyche? What's," she yawned a bit, "that?"

Zaraki patted Yachiru's head, "Time for you to sleep, brat."

Yachiru rubbed her eyes, struggling to stay awake, "No it's not! Besides, Braid lady hasn't answered my question!"

Unohana smiled, "You really should sleep soon though, Yachiru…scars to the psyche is emotional damage. Basically when something traumatic happens, and you can't get over it."

Yachiru pondered this statement as she yawned, "Traumatic? So…like Ninja Lady being all weird if black cats come near her?"

Zaraki added, before Unohana could ask anything, "She's talking about Soi Fong."

Unohana nodded, "Something like that. With Hinamori-fukutaichou however, it goes deeper than that."

Yachiru was nearly asleep on Zaraki's shoulder, but she managed to ask, "Really? …but I think Ice Dragon wants to help Peachy…" Her head slumped, and she began to snore.

Unohana smiled peacefully again, "She's a pretty perceptive girl at times…"

Zaraki snorted, as he opened the door quietly, "Oh sure, when she wants to be that is. Most of the time she's just a hyper pink blob."

"Kids are kids," Unohana said following him out the door, after securing the shield on the room.

"If that's the case, why isn't the little Ice brat running around like Yachiru?"

"Well, he is a prodigy…and I don't believe he is as young as Yachiru. Either ways, he is remarkably mature for his age."

"Little brat was moping around your division before he left to the human world, wasn't he?"

Unohana nodded, sadly, "He is very close friends with Hinamori-fukutaichou, and he blames himself for the fact that she got hurt that way."

Zaraki snorted, "The little pipsqueak's control of his zanpaktou isn't complete yet, is it? Must be pretty bitter for him, since his girl is still obsessed with Aizen."

Unohana put a hand up to her mouth to hide a grin, "_His _girl, Zaraki-san?"

Zaraki shrugged, careful not to awaken the sleeping Yachiru, "It's kind of obvious. Besides, Yachiru is convinced that her next matchmaking job should be between them."

"Ah, she's still trying that?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Well, I wish her luck…if she can cure Hinamori-fukutaichou of her obsession with Aizen, I swear to the King of the Soul Society that I'll provide her with candy every single day."

Zaraki shuddered, "No. Who knows what she'll do with all that candy…"

"Maybe every week then," they had arrived at the entrance of the 4th division. "Well then, good-bye Zaraki-san."

"See you," he said, waving one hand as he walked out.

--

As Unohana sipped her green tea which she had finally made, she thought back to the conversation between Zaraki and Yachiru.

_He does look like a scary guy…but appearances are deceiving, as we've all seen with Aizen. He truly does care for Yachiru as a daughter. _

_**You know that the way you two acted today, you could have been mistaken for a family?**_

Unohana quickly shook her head, _It's the stress that's making me think odd thoughts…_

_**Right. Keep telling yourself that, why don't you?**_

--

A/N: Well, that was an interesting chapter wasn't it? I even managed to include Hitsugaya/Hinamori…please review! And basically, the same drill as before, I'm still waiting for Unohana or Zaraki to reappear in the manga, but if inspiration strikes, I will update.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, why would I be writing fics?

A/N: Well, Zaraki finally reappeared in the manga for two pages. However, that's enough to give me a sort of plot. (God I'm desperate…) Enjoy the chapter!

--

"All of you seem fine," commented Unohana as she completed her checkup of the shinigami who had gone to the human world, "Inoue-san's healing powers are quite good…"

"Then why can't we go and get her back from Hueco Mundo?" Rukia burst out, unable to hold back that question despite the fact that Ichigo had already screamed it several times at Yamamoto-taichou.

Unohana quietly held Rukia's gaze until the younger girl's head lowered, "As you know Kuchiki-san we cannot spare anyone at this time to recover anyone, much less go to the heart of Aizen's stronghold."

The group nodded in unison, but still looked slightly defiant. Unohana decided to ignore it, "Well, all of you may go now."

As they all walked through the door, Ikkaku turned around, "Unohana-taichou, do you want us to get Zaraki-taichou?"

Unohana blinked, "…did he get injured? My, that was such a short time that he went there and yet he somehow already managed to get into a fight…"

"No, taichou is fine, we were just wondering if you wanted to see him?" interjected Yumichika, realizing that the sooner his bet was won, the better.

Unohana felt the heat creep up to her cheeks, and quickly busied herself with putting away the medical supplies, "There will be no need of that," she replied.

Ikkaku and Yumichika exchanged looks, and smirked, "Alright then, thanks Unohana-taichou," they both said as they walked through the door.

--

"Okay, so how's this, we tell Zaraki-taichou that Unohana-taichou wants to see him, so he–"

"No, no, we have to make it look natural!" Yumichika interrupted, "If we do something so obvious taichou will be sure to notice, and even if he doesn't, Unohana-taichou will!"

They both shuddered as they imagined an angry Unohana-taichou.

"Yeah…so do you have a better idea?"

"Yachiru really likes Unohana-taichou, doesn't she?" asked Yumichika expectantly.

"Yeah, because Unohana-taichou will give her candy, which just proves that Unohana-taichou is kind of on the insane side…"

They both compared Unohana-taichou's insanity level (guessed), and Zaraki-taichou's insanity level (experienced), and found that it almost matched.

"…that works out. No wonder they get along. Anyway, why don't we send Yachiru over there for a whole day? Taichou will definitely run over there sometime to pick up Yachiru, in which he'll definitely bump into Unohana-taichou, and then maybe I'll win my bet," said Yumichika hopefully.

Ikkaku snorted, "Dream on Yumi, it's not going to happen. I mean, taichou doesn't have a romantic nerve in his entire body."

"Didn't stop you from chasing Nemu-san," replied Yumichika flippantly, tossing his hair back.

Ikkaku made a strangled sound and turned red, "Yumi, I told you to shut up about that!"

"Oh please, it's not as if no one doesn't know by now."

"Mayuri doesn't know, and I'd like to keep it that way!"

Yumichika gave Ikkaku an exasperated look, "I would have to be very stupid to talk about Nemu-san and you in front of Mayuri-taichou, and I'm obviously not that stupid."

"Really?"

Yumichika deemed it not below his beautiful self to proceed to try and strangle Ikkaku, hit him on his shiny head, and then smear his eye paint. (It was eye paint, no matter how much Ikkaku liked to say that they were tattoos.)

--

"Where the hell is Yachiru? Don't tell me she ran off again," groaned Kenpachi, slamming every single door in the 11th division building open, searching for the ever elusive pink blob.

"I think she went over to the 4th division," said Ikkaku, following Yumichika's plan. He silently was hoping that Zaraki-taichou wouldn't challenge him to a fight if he figured out the plan.

"…the 4th division?" asked Kenpachi suspiciously, "She went there _again_? Great, let me guess, that woman is giving her more candy."

Inwardly Ikkaku was rejoicing, maybe this would be easier than he thought! "Yeah, I think so; she was yelling something about how Unohana-taichou was going to give her candy."

"Alright, I'm going. Since you two are back, go get the other bastards up and give them a couple suicide drills," said Kenpachi as he opened the door and headed off to the 4th division.

Ikkaku sighed in relief, and then froze up. His feet pounded the floor as he ran for the 5th seat's room, "_Yumi!"_

Yumichika turned around from the mirror where he was primping, "Now what Ikkaku?"

"What happens if Yachiru tells taichou that we're the ones that said that Unohana-taichou had candy today?"

Yumichika's face suddenly turned white, "I hadn't thought of that…" he murmured worriedly.

"_You didn't think of that!" _screamed Ikkaku frantically, "Alright then, we're doomed, we're so doomed. Zaraki-taichou will challenge both of us, and since we're in the 11th division we'll have to accept the challenge, and even if I do have a bankai, we'll both be deader than the former 11th division captain that we never met, and then they'll put our mangled bodies in nice expensive caskets (better be expensive) and the funeral better be nice or else I'll come back and kick Renji's and Iba's and Shuuhei's sorry asses—"

"I don't think it'll come to that," interrupted Yumichika, "hopefully our bodies won't be mangled. I would hate to not be beautiful at my own funeral!"

They both sighed despondently. "Well, taichou told us to get the squad to do some suicide drills," Ikkaku finally said.

Yumichika brightened up, "Oh that's good. They probably aren't in shape anymore, since we left."

"Don't know about that, taichou probably gave them a ton of drills already."

Yumichika shook his head and sighed, "No, no, since Zaraki-taichou is a captain that means he's obviously been very busy, especially with all the Arrancars. Besides, he's obviously been busy dealing with his feelings towards Unohana-taichou, so the squad probably hasn't had that many drills. Why don't we make the squad do drill Meltdown and drill Duck-and-hide?"

"We might as well before we die," said Ikkaku standing up, striding into the corridor, and bellowing, "All of you bitches up now, and to the training grounds!"

The frantic scuttle of all of the 11th division members cheered Ikkaku up somewhat. In his head he planned to get all the guys collapsing all of the place, and then run over to see Nemu. Hopefully by the time he got back from all of that, taichou wouldn't be too mad.

--

"Brat, where are you? Hey, Yachiru we have to go now—"

A pink blob whizzed past Kenpachi, happily singing something around the lines of, "Moshi atashi ga _candy _houkiboshi nareta naraba _candy _sora kakenuke tonde iku _candy!"_

Kenpachi managed to catch Yachiru and hold her still, "…how much candy have you had?"

"_Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots—"_

"Okay I get the idea," Kenpachi groaned, and put her on his shoulder, "Let's go see Unohana, why don't we?"

"_Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright—"_

"_Please _shut up brat."

--

The sliding door of Unohana's room slammed open as Kenpachi burst in, "Alright woman, what did you do to Yachiru?"

Unohana blew on her tea, "Yachiru? Did she come here?"

Holding up the babbling Yachiru (_candycandycandy), _Kenpachi yelled, "Yeah she came here, and this is the damn result!"

"Oh dear, she must have snuck into my storage of sweets…" said Unohana worriedly, sipping her tea, "I'm sorry Zaraki-san, last time I gave her candy she must have seen where I put them."

Kenpachi blinked, "…so you didn't give her candy?"

"I didn't even know that she was here," replied Unohana, finishing her tea, and standing up, "Let me have a look at her."

"No, that's alright_—_" said Kenpachi backing away.

"No really, I insist, since it's my fault I have to see if there's anything I can do_—_" interrupted Unohana, stepping closer, reaching out for the spastic Yachiru.

"I can handle her, it's not that much different from the last few times_—_"

While both of the captains were doing a weird complicated dance trying to look at/keep Yachiru, Unohana tripped on Kenpachi's foot, and fell into him. Kenpachi, not quite balanced in the first place, fell over. During that, the said pink haired girl flash stepped out between them.

"_Heheheheheheheheheheheehehehehehe! Bet that none of you can catch me! Bye-bye!" _Yachiru giggled out, flash stepping away.

"Oh _shit," _cursed Kenpachi.

"I'm _really, really, really, _sorry, Zaraki-san," said Unohana quickly getting up (nearly flash-stepping in fact) and off of Kenpachi.

"I didn't mind," said Kenpachi almost lazily.

"…what?" Unohana asked softly.

Yachiru picked that time to reappear on Kenpachi's shoulder, "I'm," she yawned, "really sleepy Ken-chan…"

"Alright then brat, you finally calmed down?"

"Yeah," said Yachiru curling up on Kenpachi's shoulder and falling asleep.

"Well then, see you Retsu," Kenpachi said waving behind him as he walked away.

Unohana sat in silence for a few minutes before mechanically making another pot of tea. _Did going to the human world, _thought Unohana as she drank her tea,_ affect_ _Zaraki-san's mind somehow? Because he usually just calls me "woman" or "Unohana". No one calls me Retsu; I'm not even used to being called that anymore! And then what was with that comment after I apologized…?_

_**You know what he meant. **_

_I do not. _

_**Fine, keep being stubborn. See where that gets you. **_

…_this whole situation is rather confusing. _

--

A/N: Alright, after 11 chapters I'm finally developing the romance little, aren't you happy? Now we just have to wait and see when Unohana, Zaraki, or Yachiru reappear again. Please review! If anyone was wondering, Yachiru was singing Houki Boshi, the 3rd Bleach ending song by Youhna. The translation (minus the candy) is: If maybe I'd been able to become a comet I would fly running through the sky. Couldn't resist sticking the song in there.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, I would not have been able to execute that wonderful twist with Kaien that Kubo Tite-san just pulled. Therefore, I do not own Bleach.

A/N: Yes…I'm very sorry about not updating for so long, but the manga is not being cooperative and letting Zaraki, Unohana, or anything related to them appear. So why have I updated? I got an idea from the anime for once, so here we are again. (Incidentally, I love Rolling Star and Sakura Hiyori.) Enjoy.

--

Kenpachi crossed his arms and glared at Ikkaku and Yumichika who were kneeling in front of him. "First of all," he began, his voice rumbling ominously, "I'm not even going talk about that stunt you pulled with Yachiru and Unohana."

Yumichika dared to look up and fire a winning smile at his captain, "But taichou, we don't even know what you're talking about—"

"Cut the bullshit," Kenpachi said bluntly, "Once Yachiru finally calmed down she said that you two were the ones who told her that Retsu had candy. But like I said, I'm not going to talk about it."

Ikkaku and Yumichika both cringed as their captain's reiatsu flared, but inwardly shared the same thought. _Retsu? _

Kenpachi went on, not noticing the slip, "But Yumichika, why the hell did you call in to prepare Ikkaku's funeral? He seems perfectly fine to me!"

Yumichika nodded, "Yes taichou, but you see, I thought that if Ikkaku continued to be stupid, he would have probably died against that Arrancar, so I called in just in case."

Kenpachi rubbed his head, "Fine, but next time don't start until he's actually dead, okay? We had Kurotshuchi's daughter over here sneaking into Ikkaku's room to cry. Not fun."

Ikkaku shifted in place, turning red, "Sorry about that taichou."

Kenpachi snorted, "You don't need to say sorry to me, just get over there to that girl and tell her not to sneak in when you're not here anymore. We don't need Kurotshuchi throwing anymore hissy fits than he already is."

Ikkaku nodded, while Yumichika elbowed him, "You made the poor girl cry? How could you Ikkaku!"

"What the hell? It was your fault, actually telling them to start preparing a funeral for me!" Ikkaku yelled, shoving Yumichika.

Yumichika tossed his hair back, "You were being stupidly stubborn. How was I supposed to know whether or not you'd actually go all out?"

"The idiot wasn't fighting all out?" Kenpachi asked, surprised.

Ikkaku made shushing motions towards Yumichika, which he might have thought were discreet, but to Zaraki looked as if he performing some sort of new luck-luck dance while kneeling. "Of course I was fighting all out taichou! Yumi just wasn't watching right because he had to take care of that human that had gotten in the way. _Right Yumi?"_

Yumichika's mouth twisted into an expression of annoyance, but he nodded.

"A human?" Kenpachi asked, even more surprised, "A human managed to not pass out during the battle, and watch you?"

"Yes," replied Ikkaku, "Some kid from Ichigo's school. The reiatsu leaking idiot must have somehow managed to affect even that kid. But we did manage to get a place to stay in from him, so it all worked out."

"Of course," added Yumichika slyly, "Ikkaku attracted the attention of the kid's sister, right Ikkaku? Mizuho-san gave him this ugly pink shirt to wear, and he actually agreed to put it on."

Kenpachi stared at Ikkaku in horror, "…are you turning into Yumichika now?" He asked, backing away ever so slightly, "You're not going to be running around trying to give makeovers to people, right?"

"You can't reject the stuff that your host gives you!" Ikkaku yelled, "It's not like I _wanted _to wear that damn shirt!"

"We must wonder Ikkaku," Yumichika commented, sighing dramatically, "but I have to say if you wanted to look more beautiful, that shirt did not help at al. On the contrary, pink makes you look even uglier."

Yachiru chose this moment to appear and hop onto Zaraki's shoulder, "Baldy likes pink now?" she asked happily.

"Godamnit, _no!"_

Yachiru's pink eyes glittered dangerously, "_You don't like pink?"_

Ikkaku then remembered that yes, Yachiru's hair, eyes, and even reiatsu were pink, not to even mention her zanpaktou. He began backing away, "Of course I like pink Yachiru-fukutaichou."

Yachiru beamed, suddenly the innocent little shinigami again, "Good! Because since Baldy wasn't here for a very long time, I have a lot of pink stuff to try on Baldy!" saying that, she grabbed him by the hand, and sped away, dragging a frantically yelling Ikkaku behind her.

"Yachiru! Let me go!"

Yachiru pouted, "You haven't played with me for a long time! We're going to make up for it now!"

As the successive doors that Yachiru opened slammed shut, Kenpachi sighed, "He's doomed."

"Oh yes," replied Yumichika solemnly, "I'll check in on them in about an hour."

Kenpachi suddenly flashed a shark-like smile, "When she's done…bring him out in the front of the division."

Yumichika smiled happily, "Of course taichou."

"And you're going to take care of Yachiru while that happens," added Kenpachi, walking away.

Yumichika's happy smile slipped, "_What? _But taichou, we've only been back for a few days, and I want to relax, and Yachiru will mess up my hair—"

Kenpachi turned around, and glared. Yumichika automatically, and wisely, stopped babbling. "I had to fill out a lot of paperwork," Kenpachi began slowly, "when you called in to say that Ikkaku needed a funeral. Then I had to reassure Ikkaku's girlfriend that of course he wasn't dead, and that you were just being an idiot. And then I hear that both of you are fine and dandy, and all the paperwork that I somehow managed to finish by then is no longer needed. And then of course, there's that thing you pulled with Retsu, which we already agreed we aren't going to talk about. _You're either going to do what I say or you can go clean the sewers with the 4th division, and Ikkaku can be in Yachiru's clutches even longer."_

Yumichika saluted, shuddering inwardly at the thought of cleaning the sewers. All that slime, and muck, and god knows what…what would it do to his beautiful complexion? To his hair? "Yes taichou, I will take care of Yachiru-fukutaichou!"

"That's more like it," Kenpachi said in satisfaction, turning around again to walk away.

--

"Is that…Ikkaku?"

"Can't be, I mean…Ikkaku wouldn't look like that. He's in the 11th division!"

"Yeah, but we don't have many bald shinigami in Seireitei—"

Ikkaku twitched, and hit the unfortunate shinigami over the head with the sheath of his zanpaktou. "I'm not bald, damnit!"

The unfortunate shinigami's friend prodded the prone body with his foot, "Wow, looks like you were right. It _is_ Ikkaku."

Ikkaku snarled, and lifted his zanpaktou up threateningly. Unfortunately, the whole effect was spoiled by the fact that there were a multitude of flowers finger-painted on his head (mostly pink), he was wearing some sort of pink choker, and by the fact that he had a pink haori (it looked strangely like the one Kyouraku-taichou usually wore…).

Yumichika picked up the squirming Yachiru, and sighed, "Ikkaku, put it down. You look ridiculous."

Ikkaku's flowery head whipped around, "_And whose fault is that?"_

Yumichika looked slightly miffed as he tried to wrestle a bag of candy away from Yachiru, "You can't possibly blame me for that mess? No Yachiru, no more candy…"

"Yes more candy!" Yachiru screamed, hitting Yumichika repeatedly on the head with a stick.

"Of course it is your fault!" Ikkaku yelled, "Taichou wouldn't be so mad if you hadn't called in to say I was dead—"

"We already argued about this right?" asked Yumichika, managing to grab the stick from Yachiru, and throw it far away, "Yachiru, don't you want to grow big and tall like Zaraki-taichou?"

"No!" yelled Yachiru, now bopping Yumichika on the head with her tiny fists, "Then I won't be able to ride on Ken-chan's back anymore!"

"And," continued Ikkaku, waving his sword and sheath around, "if you hadn't had the bright idea of baiting Yachiru to go over to Unohana-taichou's—"

"Hm? Baiting Yachiru to come over to me?" asked a pleasant voice by Ikkaku's ear.

Ikkaku spun around in horror to see Unohana standing pleasantly in front of him, as Yumichika also paled. "U-U-Unohana-taichou!" both of them chorused at the same time.

She smiled, and nodded in recognition. "It is pleasant to see you two again, Madarame-san, Ayasegawa-san. Now what were you two saying again?"

"Ah…" Ikkaku said, in his mind running through all the possible ways Unohana-taichou could kill them with medical instruments, or even using Minazuki. It was not a pretty image.

Fortunately, Yumichika was faster on uptake, although he had inadvertently dropped Yachiru in his initial shock, in which Yachiru promptly disappeared. "Well Unohana-taichou," he began, thinking quickly, "We were just talking about…how much Yachiru-fukutaichou likes your candy!" He elbowed Ikkaku.

Ikkaku got the idea and began babbling, "Yeah! She likes it so much that we were thinking we should just drop her over at the 4th division so we could get some work done here!"

Unohana nodded solemnly, "I see. But then we wouldn't be able to get our work done as well."

"But Unohana-taichou!" exclaimed Yumichika, in the perfect imitation of surprise, "You deal with her so much better than we ever could! You can manage her as well as Zaraki-taichou can…almost like a mother, some might say?" he added slyly.

Unohana blinked, but otherwise did not react. "Well, even if you do want to send her to the 4th division, Yachiru ran away," she pointed out.

Yumichika slapped his forehead (gently though, it wouldn't do any good to mar his face) dramatically, "Oh dear! We must go find her," he said, grabbing Ikkaku, "Goodbye Unohana-taichou!"

For a 5th seat, Unohana mused, Ayasegawa-san could flash-step like no one's business. Although, the flowery pink Madarame-san flash-stepping behind him looked hilarious.

"What were you doing letting Yachiru run off like that?" Ikkaku moaned, flash-stepping by Yumichika's side.

"Well, think of it like this," said Yumichika diplomatically, "Either we run after Yachiru who conveniently took off, and stop our conversation with Unohana-taichou. Or, we can continue to talk to Unohana-taichou, in which she'll eventually figure it out (if she hasn't already), and we will die a most painful death at her hands with taichou's blessings."

Ikkaku weighed the two options in his head, "And how much candy did Yachiru manage to eat?" he finally asked.

Yumichika shrugged, "Enough."

Ikkaku sighed, and rubbed his flowery head, "Oh well. Better than being impaled with a scalpel or something. But anyway," he said, holding up the pink haori, "do you know where Yachiru got this from?"

"It looks like Kyouraku-taichou's, doesn't it?" Yumichika commented, "Why, do you want to keep it?"

"Hell no!"

--

Shunsui sneezed, and rubbed his nose. Nanao didn't look up from the paper she was writing on, "No Kyouraku-taichou, you cannot stop working because you have a cold."

"But Nanao-chan!" he whined, "I'm catching a cold without my lovely pink haori giving me warmth! At this rate I will surely become very ill and must be sent to the 4th division…you will come to see me, right my Nanao-chan? Or maybe you could sit closer to me, Nanao-chan?" he asked expectantly, scooting closer to his vice-captain.

"You will not be sent to the 4th division just from a small cold taichou," Nanao stated, dipping her brush in for more ink, and scooting away from him, "And it is your own fault for getting your haori dirty with spilled sake, and leaving it out to dry where anyone could have stolen it."

"Who could have stolen my lovely haori?" Shunsui asked the ceiling, sniffling, "It is too cruel."

"Indeed," Nanao agreed, passing more papers for him to sign, "who would have wanted your haori? They would have to have been color blind or something…"

"My Nanao-chan is so cruel!" Shunsui said, dramatically sweeping a hand around.

"I'm not your Nanao-chan," Nanao said automatically.

--

Unohana walked into the 11th division, to see Yachiru gleefully waving from the rafters, "Hello Braid lady!"

"Hello Yachiru," she said calmly, "aren't Madarame-san and Ayasegawa-san looking for you?"

Yachiru giggled, as she rocked back and forth, "Yep! Ken-chan wanted to punish them, so he let me give Baldy a makeover! And then he told Peacock to take care of me, except Peacock wouldn't let me have any candy!"

Unohana digested Yachiru's rambles, and managed to sort it out to ask, "What did he want to punish them for? And candy really isn't good for you, Yachiru."

"Ken-chan said it was because Peacock was stupid and called in to say that Baldy was dead, and then Ken-chan had to take care of Creepy Robot Guy's daughter because she was crying," Yachiru put a finger to her mouth thoughtfully, "Oh, and some sort of trick that they pulled with me and you, but Ken-chan didn't want to talk about it. I don't know what it was though. Do you?" Yachiru asked, pouting slightly, and deciding to ignore Braid Lady's comment about candy.

"I…I might," replied Unohana, shifting a little uncomfortably, "Do you know where Zaraki-san is?" she finally added.

"Ken-chan?" Yachiru jumped down from the rafters, "Nope, but I can go find him. _KEN-CHAN!" _she yelled, shooting off so fast she was a small pink blur, "_Braid lady wants to talk to you! Ken-chan!"_

Unohana flushed pink, as the 11th division members turned around to stare at her, wondering what she wanted with their captain. Maybe the rumors were true?

Kenpachi stormed out of a random door with Yachiru happily perched on his shoulder. He gazed around the room, and barked, "What the hell do all of you think this is? Break time? Get back to work!"

"Yes taichou!" the 11th division members yelled, scrambling back to their work.

He then swiveled his head to look at Yachiru, "And what were you thinking, running around and yelling like that?"

"Braid Lady wanted to know where you were," she chirped, "so I got you as fast as possible!"

"Right," he turned around to look at Unohana, "So, do you want something?"

Until that point, Unohana hadn't been quite sure what had taken her to the 11th division. She had just felt like going, so she had gone. Of course, along the way she had managed to convince herself that what she was really going there for was to see what her division was calling the ultimate creation of Yachiru's (with what looked like Kyouraku-taichou's haori).

And then, when she had actually walked into the 11th division building, she had managed to convince herself that she was trying to find Yachiru. Finding Yachiru meant always having a long conversation, and now, somehow since she wasn't quite sure how it had happened herself, Zaraki-san was now in front of her.

"I," she began, "wanted to—"

"Do you have more candy?" Yachiru, interrupted eagerly.

Kenpachi made a swiping motion towards Yachiru, but she neatly dodged it, "Haven't I taught you that it's not polite to interrupt, brat?" he asked, "Besides, what do you need more candy for?"

Yachiru pouted, "Peacock wouldn't let me eat much! But fine, if she doesn't have any, I'll go over to Byakushi to get more candy!"

Kenpachi shook his head, "Why do you have to go to pansy like that for candy?"

Yachiru shook her head, and sat up taller to give her lecture, "Braid lady's candy is really good, but I can't always find it now. Ken-chan's candy is good too, but you never buy me enough. Byakushi's is really expensive and fancy, not as good, but if I can't get the others, it's fine!"

Kenpachi mumbled under his breath about stupid rich pansies, while Unohana covered her smile with her hand. "Well Yachiru," she said finally, uncovering her mouth, "why don't you come with me, and we'll see if we can get you some healthy sweets?"

Yachiru tilted her head, "Will it still taste good?"

Unohana nodded, "Of course."

Yachiru beamed, "Okay then!" She jumped off of Zaraki's shoulder, "Let's go!"

Kenpachi looked at Unohana worriedly, "You don't have to do that if you don't want to," he said, cautiously.

She waved him off, "But I do want to. Don't worry about it."

"Alright then, I'll come too," he said, stoutly.

Her eyes widened, "You don't have to—"

He shrugged, "I want to, and you can't stop me. Alright Retsu?" he asked, pronouncing the name as if it was a challenge.

She bit her lip, and nodded. _What was this?_

"Good," he said, scooping Yachiru onto his shoulder, "Let's go."

--

Shuuhei, bent down to rest, "Remind me again," he panted out, "why am I helping you look for _your _vice-captain?"

"Because you are helping us out of the goodness of your heart?" Yumichika asked brightly.

"That can't be it," Shuuhei stated flatly.

"Because either you help us, or we release those nice photos we took of you when you were drunk and singing," Ikkaku growled out, dropping the pink choker down the gutter "accidentally," "Which will completely ruin your image of a nice, fine, upstanding vice-captain of the 9th division."

"And that would be it," Shuuhei said tiredly, standing up, "I'm never going drinking with you guys again—look, there's Kusajishi-fukutaichou!" he said, pointing to a stall.

Ikkaku's and Yumichika's heads whipped around, and they gaped. Yachiru was happily chomping on honeydew, while sitting on Zaraki-taichou's shoulder, and Unohana was with them.

"Is that as good as candy?" Unohana asked.

Yachiru thought about it, "Can I have this and candy?"

Unohana looked at Kenpachi who said gruffly, "Yeah, brat."

"Okay then! More please!" Yachiru said, finishing the honeydew.

"I can't believe I'm watching her willingly eat fruit," Yumichika finally said.

"The power of Unohana-taichou, obviously," said Shuuhei solemnly.

"Yeah, must be—oh god, it's Nemu," Ikkaku said frantically ducking behind Yumichika, "Hide me."

Yumichika sighed, and walked to the left, leaving Ikkaku exposed, and called out, "Oh Kurotshuchi-san!"

Nemu looked up to see a cowering pink Ikkaku. She blinked. "Ikkaku…isn't that Kyouraku-taichou's haori?"

"Yes," he mumbled, "I'm beginning to think that Yachiru stole it."

She smiled and began to laugh. Ikkaku stood there and shrugged. He looked ridiculous (and it was all Yumi's fault) but it might be worth it, if Nemu laughed.

--

A/N: …that had to be my longest chapter. And yes, I know it didn't really go anywhere, but I like to think that the relationship is getting built little by little. Please review! (And hope that inspiration somehow manages to strike soon.)


	14. Interlude

Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, I wouldn't have to be relying on the anime to be writing another chapter, would I?

A/N: Due to the complete absence of anything vaguely related to Zaraki or Unohana in the manga, I have finally turned to the anime for some inspiration. This chapter is based off the Shinigami's Cup Golden where Kon runs amok in Hanatarou's gigai, and should be considered as a humorous interlude that is only vaguely connected to the entire story. However, it does have Zaraki/Unohana (obviously).

--

Unohana happily sat down, with a cup of steaming tea in front of her. It had been a very busy week, with numerous injuries mostly caused by the 11th division members running amok in "training sessions." However, now that everyone was healed, she thought she deserved a nice calm cup of tea for once.

She had just put the cup to her mouth, when the sliding door of her office banged open. "Unohana-taichou!" Isane yelled, bowing quickly, "I'm sorry to disturb you, but we seem to have a bit of a situation…"

Unohana set down her cup of tea, not without regret, and asked, "What sort of situation?"

Isane began to fiddle with the beads that hung from her short hair, "…it seems," she began slowly, "that somehow Yamada Hanatarou was involved in some sort of situation involving his gigai, the 11th division, Zaraki-taichou, a small stuffed lion, and Kusajishi-fukutaichou."

Unohana blinked, and took a sip of hot tea to gather her thoughts. "That is an odd situation," she finally said, setting down her cup and standing up, "Is anyone injured?"

"Some 11th division members were slightly injured in the fray," Isane replied, "It seems that they were hit by Yamada's zanpaktou."

Unohana's brow puckered and she took the chance again to take a sip of tea, "Yamada's zanpaktou? But isn't he the one with the zanpaktou that heals whatever wound it touches?"

Isane coughed, "Yes, but you will remember Unohana-taichou, that if it heals enough wounds, Yamada's zanpaktou unleashes all the injuries in one blast? It seems that is what had injured some of the 11th division members."

Unohana raised a quizzical eyebrow, "I cannot imagine Yamada doing that. However, you mentioned that it was his gigai?"

Isane nodded, "Yes, evidently a gikongan took over Yamada's gigai…and simply ran away without Yamada giving any orders. We are still uncertain about why that is."

"Unusual," Unohana agreed, taking another draught of tea, "And how are Zaraki-san and Yachiru involved in all of this?"

Isane once again began to fiddle with the hanging beads of her hair, "Well, I'm not entirely sure at this point, but it seems that Zaraki-taichou saw the blast from Yamada's zanpaktou and decided to challenge him. The gigai ran away, upon which Yamada returned waving a small stuffed lion. The gikongan left the gigai and went towards the stuffed lion evidently, but Kusajishi-fukutaichou was in the way. Upon Hanatarou's urging, she put the gikongan in the stuffed lion, upon which it began moving."

"Unusual," repeated Unohana, finishing of the rest of her tea, and moving towards the door, "And where is the stuffed lion right now?"

Isane began to twist the beads together in agitation, "We tried to separate the stuffed lion from Kusajishi-fukutaichou, however…she, ano…wouldn't let go."

"I see then," Unohana said, placing a hand on the sliding door and turning around to look at Isane, "Look after the division for me, alright Isane?"

Isane bobbed her head up and down, but in a confused voice asked, "But Unohana-taichou, where are you going?"

Unohana sighed as she walked out, "Off to see Zaraki-san and Yachiru again," she said cheerfully.

Isane watched her captain walk away, and then began to shuffle the papers on Unohana's desk, organizing them a bit more. Iemura purposefully walked in, and stopped abruptly seeing Isane's distinctive light purple hair. "Kotetsu-fukutaichou," he said stiffly, pushing his glasses up, "where is Unohana-taichou?"

"She went off to the 11th division," Isane replied, keeping a blank face.

Iemura's eyebrows flew up, "Again? She has been going there a lot lately."

"I could not say," Isane said carefully, with the same expression on her face.

Realizing Isane's tone of voice, Iemura decided to drop the subject. "Well then," he coughed, "when do you think Unohana-taichou will be back?"

Isane cracked a small smile, "Most likely by nightfall. It will be late when she returns, anyway."

Iemura was still surprised, and asked slowly, "But why will she be back so late?"

Isane shrugged, "I'm not sure either. It's just a feeling."

Iemura nodded slowly, and decided not to ask any more dubious questions, "I see."

Isane beamed, "I'm sure you do, Yasochika-san. Now we must work hard while Unohana-tacihou is gone, so please go on with your work."

Iemura bowed, while seriously wondering about the mysterious relationship between his captain and the 11th division, "Yes Koetsu-fukutaichou."

--

"Yachiru," said Yumichika tiredly, with his hand on his forehead, "Will you please let go of that dirty stuffed animal?"

"No!" squealed Yachiru, slightly muffled due to the stuffed yellow lion still clenched between her teeth.

"Hey," said Ikkaku, leaning back against the wall, "isn't that the weird modsoul that Ichigo had?"

Yumichika looked and peered closer at the struggling Kon, "You mean the one that automatically lunged for Rangiku-san? Why, it is! What a surprise."

"_Let me go_!" screamed Kon, struggling in Yachiru's firm grasp.

Yachiru simply ignored Kon's cries, and bit harder. As Kon howled in pain, the wooden floor creaked as Kenpachi walked in. "What the hell is all the noise about?" he demanded, glaring around the room.

Yumichika pointed at Kon, "It's a strange modsoul that's Ichigo's, taichou. Somehow it appeared, and Yachiru won't let go of it."

Kenpachi grunted, and turned his baleful stare onto Kon, who instead of struggling, began to quiver in fear. "Yachiru," he said slowly, "let go of the dirty thing. You're going to get sick that way, and like hell I'm taking care of you, I already lost a guy who could have put up a potentially good fight."

"No!" insisted Yachiru, through a mouthful of Kon.

Yumichika ran his hand through his hair in frustration, "Yachiru please let go. It's a very perverted thing anyway, you don't want it."

As the room suddenly took on a menacing aura originating from Kenpachi, and Yumichika realized that this was perhaps not the best place to say that, Yachiru spat out Kon, but still held on to him firmly, "What's a pervert?" she asked quizzically.

"A slimy bastard that should be killed right away," replied Zaraki, glaring fiercely at Kon.

Kon shivered in fright, and burst out, "I'm not a pervert!"

"Really?" asked Ikkaku quizzically, "Could have fooled me, lunging at Matsumoto's chest like that."

"That was—" Kon began to protest, but was cut off by Unohana sliding open the door. His bead eyes widened. His insane plot to takeover Hanatarou's gigai had been catalyzed by the fact that girls, for some reason, liked the guy, and if he took over the gigai, he could therefore begin his erotic conquest for women. And like hell he was going to not get anything for his efforts! He somehow launched himself out of Yachiru's grip and towards the general direction of Unohana's chest, howling, "_Nee-sama!"_

Kenpachi twitched, and in one motion, unsheathed his sword, stepped in front of Unohana, and whacked Kon away with the flat side. Kon smashed through the wall of the 11th division, leaving a Kon-shaped hole, and steadily sailed farther away.

Yumichika took the chance to solemnly say, "And that Yachiru, is what you should do to slimy perverts."

"Damn straight," Kenpachi ground out, "Anything like that happen to you brat, you hit them harder than that."

"Okay Ken-chan!" chirped Yachiru, rocking back and forth on her heels, "Hi Braid lady! Do you have any candy?"

Zaraki made a swatting motion towards Yachiru that she dodged easily. "Brat," he growled, "What'd I tell you about being polite?"

Unohana smiled calmly as though a perverted stuffed animal had not just launched itself at her, and reached into her sleeve, "That's alright Zaraki-san. Here Yachiru," she said, proffering a small brightly wrapped candy in her outstretched hand.

Yachiru whizzed over and snatched the candy from Unohana's hand, "Thank you!" she said, tossing the candy into her mouth.

"You're welcome," Unohana said smiling. She then turned to Zaraki who was staring at her with his arms crossed, "Zaraki-san, you shouldn't have hit the stuffed animal," she gently scolded, "I came to pick it up."

Zaraki snorted, "So you wanted to let me let that pervert grope you?"

Unohana's smile took on a slightly creepy look, "Oh, I assure you Zaraki-san that that would not have happened."

Yumichika beamed, and grabbed Ikkaku, "Well, we'll be leaving then, taichou, Unohana-taichou."

"What?" Ikkaku asked incredulously, staring at Yumichika, "Why the hell are we leaving? It's not even—"

Yumichika slapped his head hard, and began dragging him away, "Idiot," he hissed, "I'm trying to win my bet here!" he then beamed at Zaraki and Unohana, "Ikkaku's stupid, he forgot that we have to go buy more beer. And then he needs to go see Nemu. Bye!"

As he flashstepped away (with Ikkaku once again being towed behind him), Yachiru yelled, "Don't forget to bring me back candy!"

Zaraki rolled his eyes, "Brat, don't you have enough candy already?"

"No!" said Yachiru in defiance, scrambling up his shoulder, "You can never have enough candy!"

"You must look after your teeth though Yachiru," Unohana gently said, "So do continue eating more fruit."

"She will," Zaraki answered, giving a meaningful look at Yachiru.

Yachiru pouted, still sucking the candy that Unohana had given her, "Only if the fruit is as sweet as the candy!" she retorted.

"Well then," said Unohana, gesturing to the Kon-shaped hole in the wall, "If you can find the stuffed animal for me, I'll give you some fruit that is even sweeter than candy, alright? But do be careful—"

She didn't even have a chance to finish her sentence as Yachiru sprang off of Zaraki's shoulder, and took off through an open window, "Okay! Bye-bye!" she sang as she quickly disappeared.

Zaraki shook his head slowly, "Now the brat's going to be gone all day looking for the perverted thing," he muttered, "besides, what do you want with it?"

"I was going to tell you," said Unohana peacefully, looking around the sparsely furnished room, "we wish to examine this strange gikongan. It did not obey Yamada's orders, indeed, didn't even give Yamada a chance to give orders, and we wish to see why."

"Isn't that Kurotshuchi's job?" asked Zaraki, idly scratching his chin.

Unohana grimaced, "We would rather…" she paused, and then said, "Kurotshuchi-taichou's methods are…unpleasant to say the least. So I would rather have my division examine it."

Zaraki nodded, and then perked up, "Hey, awhile ago I saw this dopey guy take out a group of my division with his zanpaktou," he then frowned as he remembered, "But then the bastard ran away before I could fight him."

"Zaraki-san," said Unohana, holding back her laughter, "you met the gigai that the gikongan had taken over."

"Oh. Damn," cursed Zaraki, but then brightened, "But the guy whose gigai that was, it's his zanpaktou, right? Then he can fight me as soon as I find him!"

"Zaraki-san," said Unohana sternly, "You do not believe that I would let you fight with one of my division members, do you?"

"Don't see why I can't," replied Zaraki, "All I have to do is find the guy again."

Unohana sighed, "If you attempt to fight him Zaraki-san," she said slowly, "I will be left with no choice but to show my displeasure."

"Oh?" asked Zaraki, smirking, "I'd like to see that."

"Then you would be prepared to see Yachiru running around with as much candy as she can find in my division in her bloodstream?" asked Unohana archly.

Zaraki quickly turned pale, "You wouldn't dare…" he said slowly.

"Try me," replied Unohana, clearly enjoying herself, "Besides, Yachiru would most likely enjoy the experience."

Zaraki shivered in horror, before pulling himself back together, "Do you expect her to actually find the pervert?" he asked Unohana in a kind of horrified curiosity.

Unohana shrugged, "It is a rather small object…however Yachiru is a very fast girl so let's just say that I think that the odds are stacked evenly. If she does catch up with the gikongan however…well, we will have no trouble subduing it obviously."

Zaraki grinned fiercely, "That's my girl. Anyway, you want to go somewhere for a drink or something?"

Unohana's eyes widened in surprise, as she bit her lip, "What? I mean…" she trailed off in confusion.

Zaraki's grin grew wider, "I can take you to some teashop if you like, Retsu. What do you say?"

"I…alright," Unohana said, desire for tea winning over her apprehension.

"Then let's go," Zaraki said, grabbing her by the hand, and pulling her through the door.

Unohana felt the heat rise on her face, and with her other arm moved to block her face from view with her long white sleeve. _This is, _she thought indistinctly, _really…strange? Forward? I'm not even sure of the word…but I do know that it always ends up like this._

--

"Hah!" crowed Yumichika, beaming, "I'm so on my way to winning this bet!"

"Shut it," Ikkaku hissed, "They'll hear us."

He wasn't even sure how they had ended up in this strange position. They were currently behind the bushes of the popular Sakura Teahouse in the 1st district of Rukongai spying, for some reason, on taichou and Unohana-taichou. And they weren't even doing anything! He could never have imagined that Zaraki-taichou would have ever seemed perfectly content doing anything besides fighting, but there he was, sipping tea with Unohana-taichou with an expression like a pleased cat. A rather demonic cat, but a cat nonetheless. Unohana-taichou seemed alright with it too, even with the servers scurrying around, giving them looks ranging from abject surprise to horror.

He stretched slightly, since crouching in the bushes was killing his legs, and finally just stood up. Yumichika looked up in surprise, "What are you doing?"

"I'm off," said Ikkaku, waving as he walked away, "I want to go see Nemu—"

"_Ahhhhh!" _screamed Kon as he ran past both Ikkaku and Yumichika, with a pink blur following closely behind him. The pink blur stopped abruptly in front of Ikkaku, revealing Yachiru who beamed and said, "Hi Baldy! I'm going to go catch the pervert for candy!" saying that, she sped away again, in hot pursuit of Kon.

Ikkaku and Yumichika both blinked, and decided unanimously not to talk about it. "So you want to see Nemu, right?" Yumichika asked, waving him off, "Go on then, and treat her nice! I'll stay here and see if I can actually win my bet today!"

--

Matsumoto sighed, running her fingers through her thick mane of golden hair while standing in front of the 3rd division building. _What am I doing here? _She asked herself, twisting her hands together, _this is pointless. He's not here anyway, and I…I shouldn't even miss him. He's a traitor. He nearly killed Hinamori-chan and Hitsugaya-taichou. He left for Hueco Mundo. He left me. And this time, he's not coming back. _

"_Gahh!!!" _screamed Kon, still running away from Yachiru the pink blur. However, he stopped abruptly upon seeing Matsumoto. Rather, he stood shock still and began drooling at the sight of how Matsumoto managed to stretch the standard shinigami uniform to her own needs. "_Nee-sama!" _he yelled, throwing himself at Matsumoto, "_your uniform could also be used as a weapon_—_"_

Matsumoto easily punched Kon away, and then looked at her fist in surprise as Kon sailed away. _That felt…surprisingly good. _

"Really Big Boobies!" Yachiru called out, as she stopped in front of Matsumoto, "Did you see Pervert run by?"

"That way," Matsumoto absentmindedly pointed in the general direction that she had punched Kon in, still staring at her fist. As Yachiru chirped her thanks and ran away, she punched her palm and grinned. _Not planning on coming back is he? Says sorry and then just leaves, does he? Well, I'm sick and tired of moping around and watching your back Gin, so this time I'm going to run after you and beat you up until you see sense again, and then drag you back whether you like it or not. No more of this, this time you won't leave me behind. _

--

In a distant corner of Hueco Mundo, Gin sneezed.

Aizen looked up in surprise, "Are you actually catching a cold Gin?" he asked.

"No," replied Gin, wiping his nose, "I'm fine."

"Probably someone insulting him," muttered Tousen darkly.

Gin's ever present grin grew wider. _Must be Rangiku, _he thought, _she must be pretty mad at me. Very mad actually. But you know…I still miss her. _

--

A/N: I'm sorry; I really, really, really, wanted to write some Rangiku/Gin, which is why we have the moment at the end. Please review to tell me how you liked it, and I will hopefully update soon…since it is summer.


	15. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I could never come up with as awesome a character as Nell, so obviously I don't own Bleach.

A/N: Yes, I know. It's been a really long time since I've last updated, but that's because nothing inspired me, and Zaraki and Unohana both (yes, I mean _both, _in the same location, potentially becoming cannon, oh please Tite-sama….) reappeared in the manga. Yay, we can make more chapters out of this….

--

A messenger carefully ran towards the 11th division building. He was now extremely grateful that his uniform had a mask, because he was leaking cold sweat in fear. The last time a messenger had been sent to tell the 11th division something, he had been found out cold, and when he had finally woken up, he had started screaming something about pink cats. This definitely did not improve his own chances that he would come out alive from the infamous 11th division.

He landed on the roof of the 11th division building soundlessly, and straightened up slowly.

"What are you doing?" a high voice asked curiously from behind him.

He whirled around to see Yachiru sitting with her head propped in her hands, peering at him with interest.

He automatically kneeled before her, lowering his head and feeling more sweat slide down his neck, "Kusajishi-fukutaichou, I am to tell Zaraki-taichou and yourself that Soutaichou wishes to see both of you in the 1st division building."

Yachiru tilted her head to the left, frowning, "Old Baldy wants to see us?" she asked, "Last time he wanted to see us, he yelled at Ken-chan for letting me do the paperwork."

The messenger fidgeted, "I think it's more serious than that, Kusajishi-fukutaichou."

Yachiru pouted, standing up, "I still don't see what's wrong with writing in crayon," she complained, "I drew pictures of what happened too!"

The messenger began to back away, "W-w-will you tell Zaraki-taichou?" he asked tremulously.

Yachiru put a finger on her chin in thought, "Hm…I know! I'll take you with me to Ken-chan! He can decide!" she said happily.

The messenger began to back away from Yachiru even faster, "I don't think that's the best idea, Kusajishi-fukutaichou—"

Yachiru grabbed him by the waist, hauled him above her fluffy pink head, and took off in a pink blur, giggling at the messenger's terrified screams.

--

Zaraki stepped back from a wooden training dummy that had been turned into splinters, "That's how you kill shit dead, you pansies!" he barked at the cowering group of 11th division members, "Let's see you do it!"

The 11th division members had taken a few hesitant steps toward the looming wooden training dummies, when the terrified screams were heard.

A pink blur zipped past everyone and stopped in front of Zaraki, revealing a beaming Yachiru throwing the messenger on the ground, "Hi Ken-chan!" she chirped, grabbing the messenger by the front of his uniform and hauling him up, "Screamy has something to say!"

The messenger looked up at Zaraki towering above him, with one narrowed eye and a zanpaktou propped on his shoulder, and promptly passed out with a gurgle.

Zaraki prodded the messenger with his foot a few times, "Hey. Hey! Damn, he really has passed out," he turned to Yachiru, "Brat, what did he want?"

Yachiru scampered up to his shoulder, "He said Old Baldy wants to see us!"

Zaraki grunted, and turned to Ikkaku and Yumichika who were lounging around, "We're going. Beat some sense into these pansies," he ordered, walking away from the training field.

Ikkaku stood up, and cracked his knuckles, grinning evilly at the assembled 11th division members, "You heard what taichou said," he bellowed, "Get off of your lazy asses and do Suicide Drills 10 to 20!"

Yumichika yawned, and commented, "Don't forget to do the Drill of Death either.'

--

Zaraki walked into the 1st division building to see Unohana standing there peacefully with Isane fidgeting nervously next to her, Byakuya standing calmly at attention, Mayuri grumbling to himself and railing at a stoic Nemu, and Yamamoto staring balefully at him.

"You're late," Yamamoto stated, looking down from his chair at Zaraki.

Zaraki turned to Yachiru, "Next time you are not showing us the way here brat," he grumbled, lazily attempting to swat her.

Yachiru giggled and easily dodged, "We got here though, didn't we Ken-chan?"

"Pure luck," Zaraki replied gruffly.

Yamamoto coughed to get their attention, "Enough. I have assembled all of you here to inform you that Urahara has finished stabilizing the Garganta so that we can safely pass into Hueco Mundo."

Byakuya opened his eyes to look at Yamamoto, "I thought that it would be done in three months?" he asked in a bored voice.

Yamamoto nodded, "Yes…however, Urahara managed to get it done in one."

"Lazy bum," sneered Mayuri, breaking off from ranting at Nemu, "He only got it done that fast because he has nothing else to do, being banished and all."

"Yes," replied Yamamoto dryly, "And that is why of course that when he was a captain he created so many inventions that we had to banish him when he went too far, and you on the other hand have still yet to show me anything on par with that."

While Mayuri sputtered in high dudgeon, Zaraki's mouth twisted into a fanatical grin, "So I get to go over there and fight all those Espada bastards?" he asked eagerly.

Yamamoto frowned, "No," he intoned, "All of you will go, Zaraki-taichou for brute strength, Unohana-taichou to heal any of the wounded, Mayuri-taichou so that you can pick up on the Espada techniques, and Byakuya-taichou since you are worried about your adopted sister and fukutaichou."

Zaraki and Mayuri automatically began to complain.

"_What the hell?"_

"I have to go with _that _moron?"

"I have to go with that freak? Yachiru will get bad influence from him!"

"That imbecile will mess up all of my data-collecting!"

"_Quiet," _snapped Yamamoto, "both of you will be going, along with your fukutaichous, and that's final."

Zaraki and Mayuri stopped yelling, but Zaraki was still muttering under his breath, and Mayuri had begun to scream at Nemu again.

Yamamoto sighed, rubbing his head. Why were all captains dysfunctional? He was sure it hadn't been like that when he had been young…

"Hey, wait a minute," Zaraki's bark breaking Yamamoto's thoughts, "Why's Retsu going?"

Yamamoto blinked in surprise. _…Retsu? What—I'm not even going to ask. _

He coughed and replied, "To heal any injured, especially you Zaraki-taichou since you have a tendency to get bloodied up."

"She's not going," protested Zaraki, "It's dangerous there!"

"I can defend myself, Zaraki-san," Unohana cut in, "I'm a captain after all."

"Yes," agreed Zaraki, scratching the back of his head, "But over there…those things are….it's not—"

"You will need Unohana-taichou," Yamamoto interjected, "The Espada are strong, and therefore we cannot hope to come out uninjured. Besides that, I have heard that the ryoka, along with some others," at this he gave a very pointed look at Byakuya, who ignore it, "And considering all the damage that was caused when the ryoka burst in here to rescue Kuchiki Rukia, a healer will be definitely needed for everyone."

Zaraki still looked as though he wanted to protest, but then Unohana touched his arm lightly, "We can discuss this later," she said quietly to him. Zaraki grudgingly nodded and shut his mouth.

Yamamoto contemplated that next time he'd have to find out how Unohana had actually made Zaraki shut up. It had to be some sort of miracle. "Gather a few useful members of your divisions," he finally said, "and made arrangements for your absence. It might be awhile before you come back."

The captains nodded, and began to filter out. Byakuya quickly flash-stepping away, Mayuri stomping angrily away with Nemu in tow, and Zaraki walking in step with Unohana.

She looked up at him and smiled serenely, "Do you have something to say, Zaraki-san?"

Zaraki grunted, but before he could say anything, Yachiru clambered onto the top of his head, and asked, "Should I go tell Baldy and Feathers, Ken-chan?" she asked cheerfully, pushing one of the bells hanging from his hair back and forth.

"Go ahead," Zaraki replied, shaking his head in an attempt to dislodge the squealing Yachiru, "Just let go, brat."

"Okay!" Yachiru grinned, and took off in a whirl of black robes and pink hair.

Unohana watched her go, "Yachiru has gotten very fast with shunpo, hasn't she Zaraki-san?" she asked calmly.

Zaraki shrugged, "The brat's always been fast," he commented, "she used to happily run circles around bandits in Rukongai."

"I see," said Unohana, carefully tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, "And you are not worried about her going to Hueco Mundo with you?" she asked.

"Hell no," said Zaraki incredulously, looking at Unohana, "I'm more worried about her beating the shit out of some arrancar, and then deciding she wants it as a pet and dragging it back home."

Unohana laughed merrily, covering her mouth with her hand, "That would be rather terrible," she said in mock-seriousness.

"It would be," stated Zaraki in perfect seriousness, "It'd be like that time she dragged back a goddamn bear she named Fluffy."

Unohana raised her eyebrows in bemusement, "That would have been a long time ago?"

"Long time ago," agreed Zaraki, crossing his arms and looking around, "Wait…you know your way around, right?"

"Yes," replied Unohana slowly.

"Good," said Zaraki with some relief, "You can show me the right way back to my division then."

Unohana gave Zaraki a wry look, "You still don't know your way around?"

"Can never find my way to or from the 1st division," replied Zaraki easily, "The old geezer bores me out of my mind."

Unohana plucked on his sleeve to turn him down the left street instead of the right, "This way Zaraki-san," she said lightly.

They walked for a few moments in silence, passing shinigami doing double-takes at the sight and quickly whispering among themselves, before Zaraki muttered, "You shouldn't go to Hueco Mundo."

"Orders are orders," replied Unohana pleasantly, "Besides, all of you will need a healer. Hopefully however, you will try to keep yourself from being needlessly injured, Zaraki-san."

Zaraki shrugged, "A fight's not a fight unless both opponents are dripping blood. But you—" he paused to arrange his thoughts coherently, "Aizen was the biggest bastard I have ever seen, stabbing his vice-captain through like that. Any of his followers have to be as bad as him."

Unohana lightly touched Zaraki on the shoulder, turning him around so she could look him in the eye, "I'll be fine," she said firmly, "Aizen did not harm me last time, and he won't now. Don't worry."

"I'm not worrying," responded Zaraki automatically, "I'm just…trying to keep you safe."

"You do not mind Yachiru going with you," Unohana pointed out, "I am a captain while she's your vice-captain."

"That's different," Zaraki explained, "I've trained Yachiru since she couldn't even talk to kick ass. I've never seen you fight before anyway."

"I don't like to," admitted Unohana quietly, "But Minazuki has never let me down before when I've had to."

Zaraki looked at the steel in Unohana's look, and sighed, "Alright then," he said, "You better keep yourself safe though."

"Obviously," replied Unohana sweetly, quietly directing him to the next street, "I'm not a captain for nothing after all."

Zaraki grunted as Ikkaku and Yumichika skidded to a halt right in front of him, and quickly saluted. "Taichou! Unohana-taichou," they quickly bowed and then turned back to Zaraki, "You're going to go to Hueco Mundo without us?" Ikkaku demanded.

Zaraki shrugged, "Don't see much of a point in bringing you two. Need someone to keep running the division while I'm gone after all."

Yumichika sniffed, "But who will take care of Yachiru while both of you are there?"

"I can take care of the brat fine," Zaraki said flatly, "Besides; she needs some better people to fight against besides all of you pansies."

"But taichou!" Ikkaku pleaded, "We also need someone better to fight for once! Please?"

Zaraki glared at both of them, "No. I don't want to see your stupid luck-luck dance, and I really don't need Yumichika over there complaining about how his hair has gotten messed up _again."_

Yumichika turned smartly towards Unohana, "Unohana-taichou, you're taking some other members of your division, aren't you?"

Unohana pursed her lips pensively, "Well…I will obviously be taking my vice-captain, and I have been considering taking a few others…"

"See?" said Ikkaku, pointing at Unohana, "If she's taking extra members you should too, taichou!"

Zaraki crossed his arms, "I'm not taking any," he repeated, "I need you two to make sure the pansies might actually be able to swing a sword right one day. Besides, it'll be enough with Yachiru and me."

"Pfft," said Yumichika, flicking his hair out of his face, "we can get someone else to take care of the division. Besides, there could be beautiful arrancar, in which case, I wish to meet them."

"Besides taichou," added Ikkaku, "It gets so boring around here. We need a good fight!"

"For the last goddamn time," snapped Zaraki, "_**No."**_

"Also," Unohana broke in gently, "If you two go, there will be even more injuries that we will need to tend to, to the point where I would have to bring more than one squad. With Kurosaki-san and the others there already, we do not need any more injuries, do we?" she asked, smiling eerily.

Ikkaku and Yumichika instinctively backed away a bit. Yumichika tried one last time though, "But Inoue-san is there, Unohana-taichou," he pointed out, "She's a really good healer."

"A rather unusual one to be sure," Unohana said thoughtfully, "But she is only one person, whatever her powers, and the very person who has been captured. No, it will be better to have less people going."

Zaraki nodded in agreement, "Right then, they know the way, so I'm going to get back to my division. Thanks Retsu."

"You're welcome Zaraki-san," replied Unohana, and began to walk away.

As Ikkaku and Yumichika led the way back to the division, they furtively whispered among themselves, every once in a while glancing back to make sure Zaraki hadn't heard them.

"My bet will definitely come true at this rate," Yumichika muttered gleefully.

Ikkaku snorted, "I doubt it. Yachiru probably has a better sense of romance than taichou does, and she hasn't even hit puberty yet, thank god."

"As I said before, you have about as much romance as a sword has, and you still got Nemu, didn't you?" Yumichika blithely asked, ignoring Ikkaku sputtering, "He might make a move right when they're leaving!"

'In front of everyone?" Ikkaku skeptically asked.

"Obviously," Yumichika said with a toss of his head, "What better way to declare that she is his and no other's?"

"What are you two whispering about?" asked Zaraki suspiciously.

"Nothing taichou!" they both quickly chorused.

--

Unohana tapped the neat stack of papers on the desk and turned to Iemura, "Make sure the paperwork is still completed on time, please keep my office clean, and try to keep things basically on the same schedule as always."

Iemura beamed with pride, pushing up his glasses. Finally his true worth was being noticed! He was being left in charge of the 4th division while Unohana-taichou and Isane-fukutaichou were leaving! He saluted her happily, "Yes Unohana-taichou!"

Unohana nodded, and added, "Go ahead and hide the candy in a new place also…and—"

The sliding door of the office slammed open, and Hanatarou fell in. He scrambled up quickly, and bowed to Unohana and Iemura, "I apologize for interrupting, Unohana-taichou, Iemura-san," he said, "But please Unohana-taichou, will you take me with you to Hueco Mundo?"

"The impudence!" Iemura fumed, striding forward and grabbing Hanatarou by the back of his collar, beginning to drag him away, "You dare to—"

"Stop," commanded Unohana, stepping forward, "Let him go. Yamada-san, why do you wish to come with us?"

Iemura grudgingly let go of Hanatarou, and Hanatarou hesitantly said, "Well, Kurosaki-kun, Kuchiki-san, and the others are there, and since I helped them last time, I think I should help them again."

Unohana looked at Hanatarou in thoughtful silence for some time, and then asked, "You are in good shape, Yamada-san?"

Hanatarou nodded eagerly, "Yes Unohana-taichou!"

"Then you may come with us as soon as Isane finishes taking care of her affairs," Unohana said kindly.

Hanatarou smiled widely and deeply bowed, "Thank you Unohana-taichou!" he said as he scampered off to pick up his supplies.

Unohana turned back to Iemura, "And please do keep the tea kettle clean, and throw out any tea leaves that go bad. Is there anything you wish to ask me, Iemura-san?"

Iemura's mood had soured with the thought that maybe it was an even higher honor to go with Unohana-taichou to Hueco Mundo than to stay in Seireitai and run the division. However he bowed and said, "No Unohana-taichou, I will follow your orders exactly."

"Oh yes, also," said Unohana, her smile still in place, but her eyes narrowing, "If any 11th division members cause trouble, please mention that I will be severely displeased when I get back."

Iemura inwardly cackled. It was payback time for that sake bowl thrown to his beautiful face, "I will be sure to inform them of that, Unohana-taichou."

--

Zaraki slammed a hand down on a teetering stack of paperwork that reached all the way up to his shoulder. He glared at Ikkaku and Yumichika who were goggling at the stack, and said, "Finish the paperwork on time, or else the old geezer will get into a snit. If you don't, I'll make you both take care of whatever fucking monster Yachiru brings back as a pet."

Ikkaku and Yumichika shuddered at the memory of the hollow Yachiru had dragged back with her once, and both solemnly swore to finish the paperwork on time.

"Also," commanded Zaraki, nodding at the window where outside the division members were trying to break a stone with nothing but their foreheads, and generally producing nothing more than a solid concussion, "Beat those wimps into fighting shape. Tell them that any guy who can't run three laps around Gotei 13, balancing three stones on their heads, and break them with their goddamn foreheads at the end gets a sparring match with Yachiru."

Ikkaku and Yumichika nodded, wincing in sympathy. Sparring with Yachiru usually ended up with her foot in your face, and then you'd be inevitably thrown across the room cheerfully.

"And tell those bastards that fighting shape means that when I get back I want to be able to have a pretty good fight with each of them," Zaraki ground out.

Yumichika mentally calculated the amount of training needed to get any average shinigami into the fighting state needed to last against Zaraki for five minutes, and muttered to Ikkaku, "Let's start Hell Training Regimen today, and toss in a few minor death drills also."

"Plus Yachiru's HappyHappySugarHyper! Drill twice a day," Ikkaku muttered back.

Yumichika considered it, "…might be a little hard without Yachiru," he commented.

Ikkaku shrugged, "We can always drag Kira away from the bottle, dye his hair pink while he's hung-over, and blackmail him into flash-stepping it around as fast as he can go."

Yumichika nodded solemnly, "That'll work."

Zaraki grunted as Yachiru came whizzing in, landing neatly on his shoulder, "Then we're off," he said, "Remember: don't bother the 4th division or you get to spar with Yachiru."

Yachiru giggled happily, rocking back and forth, "That'll be fun!"

Ikkaku and Yumichika shuddered again, and chorused, "Yes taichou!"

As soon as the door slid shut behind Zaraki and Yachiru, Yumichika hurried towards the window, "Come on!" he hissed.

Ikkaku stared at him, "What/" he asked in bewilderment.

Yumichika opened the window of the office and began to climb out of it, "We have to go see the captains go, of course," he replied.

"Then why are we going through the window and not the door?" asked Ikkaku.

Yumichika shook his head, "One, taichou doesn't want us to go, and he wants us to start training those buffoons now. Two, I want to finally win my bet, but if either Unohana-taichou or taichou find out, I'm dead. Three, you want to see Nemu off and I want to see Isane off."

Ikkaku nodded as he slowly as he crawled out of the window, "I can't see how point two is bad though, Yumi."

"Don't worry," Yumichika said sweetly, "I'll tell them you were going to take pictures as proof if we get caught."

Ikkaku froze in horror, and nearly fell out of the window. Yumichika sighed and shook his head, "I really don't know what Nemu sees in you."

--

The first thing Zaraki noticed when he walked to the Garganta was Mayuri's new deformed hat. It looked sort of like a red turban made out of two giant worms. Yachiru summed it up best when she squealed, "Wah, Robot Freak isn't Robot Freak anymore! He's Wormy!"

Nemu's mouth twitched slightly at the title, which Mayuri unfortunately noticed. He raised his hand to slap her, roaring in anger, "_So you think that's funny?"_

Zaraki grabbed his wrist, twisting it into a rather painful angle, "Hey," he said contemptuously, "that's enough."

Mayuri wrenched his wrist away from Zaraki's grip, glaring, "I don't recall giving you the permission to tell me how to treat my own _creation_," he spat.

"Ikkaku would give me hell if I let you hit around his girl like that," Zaraki said flatly.

Mayuri sneered, 'That bald ingrate is only interested in the slut for one reason," he fired, the suddenly howled due to Yachiru appearing on his head, and beginning to pull his ears out.

"You can't make fun of Baldy," Yachiru said seriously, hands steadily pulling out the long globby mess, "Only _I _get to do that. And Ken-chan. And Robot Freak's daughter is nice, so no hitting her around either, okay?"

Mayuri tried to shake Yachiru off his head, shrieking, "Get you vicious animal off me Zaraki!"

Zaraki snorted, "Why? You deserve it."

Yamamoto sighed in exasperation. _These _were supposed to be the finest captains assembled to take down Aizen? "Kids these days," he muttered, and then ordered, "Zaraki get your vice-captain off of Kurotsuchi-taichou."

"Yachiru," barked Zaraki, "Get back over here. You don't know where that thing has been."

Yachiru let go, wiped her hands on Mayuri's strange hat, and hopped onto Zaraki's shoulder, "Okay Ken-chan!" she said happily.

Mayuri adjusted his hat, muttering balefully, "Just you wait Zaraki, you still have members in the 4th division, and when I'm through with them—"

"And when you're through with them, what Kurotsuchi-taichou?" asked Unohana, appearing right behind Mayuri.

Mayuri's eyes bulged and he quickly backed away, "Nothing!" he said frantically, "Nothing at all!"

Unohana smiled pleasantly, "That's good. I would so hate to find out that anyone would dare harm my patients, Kurotsuchi-taichou. If that was the case, the person in question might find that most of the various chemicals he always asks for will have turned into untested products that could very well have dangerous side-effects."

As Mayuri sulked, Zaraki let out a bark of laughter, and Byakuya appeared silently. Yamamoto nodded, and said, "Alright, all of you are here. Remember, your main objective is to retrieve the Hougyoku, destroy Aizen, and bring back Ichimaru and Tousen for judgment. Unless the Espada get in the way, don't fight them. Especially don't go seeking them out, which really applied to you, Zaraki-taichou."

Zaraki spat on the ground, "Not much fun then," he muttered.

Unohana gave him a pointed look, "Zaraki-san," she began, "If you become injured due to a battle you sought out, I will not be pleased."

Zaraki rolled his eyes, "Right Retsu, I'll just have a fight with any bastard with enough balls to get in my way. But you better keep yourself safe."

Unohana nodded calmly, although her cheeks did flush pink a little, "Very well."

Yumichika giggled happily as he watched the scene unfold, "At this rate taichou might actually kiss her soon!" he exclaimed happily, peering out from behind a pillar.

Ikkaku grunted, busily trying to fold a piece of red paper into something slightly aerodynamic, "Maybe," he replied.

Yumichika turned to Isane who he managed to drag behind another pillar, "Now you must also keep your beautiful self safe," he said seriously, lightly kissing her on the forehead.

Isane turned bright red, "A-alright," she stuttered, looking over at where Unohana was, "I should be going now."

Yumichika nodded understandingly, as Ikkaku cautiously threw the deformed red paper airplane towards Nemu. The flicker of motion caught her eye, and she quickly snatched its wobbling form out of the air before Mayuri even turned around. She turned around, and curiously unfolded it, and then smiled, tucking it into her obi.

Ikkaku grinned, and scratched his head. Yumichika looked at him and asked, "So what'd you write?"

"Just telling her to be safe, and that I love her," mumbled Ikkaku, embarrassed.

Yumichika raised his eyebrows, "Well I suppose I was mistaken about you Ikkaku," he said finally, "You do seem to have picked up a few romantic senses from somewhere. Been reading those Shinigami Women Association articles, have you?"

Ikkaku sputtered in indignation, "What the fuck Yumi? You're the fruity one, not me!"

Yumichika twittered, throwing his hair back, "You really should read it if you haven't Ikkaku. Their hair tips are fantastic, their romance advice sound, and above all it would give you a few fashion tips to follow for once," he remarked, staring at Ikkaku critically.

Ikkaku snorted, and crossed his arms, "Shouldn't you be watching taichou and Unohana-taichou? In case you miss something and are forced to buy the entire 11th division drinks?"

"Oh right!" exclaimed Yumichika, quickly turning back around and staring intently at the assembled captains.

Yamamoto stared critically at Garganta, and then turned to the captains, "Alright then. It's time. Good luck, and come back safely."

Everyone nodded solemnly, aware of the gravity of the situation. This was not a jaunt to the human world for a routine shift; this was a battle against a ruthless ex-captain who wanted to be God.

As one by one they filed through the Garganta, Zaraki's hand snapped out to grasp Unohana's in his own. She turned her confused eyes up to him, and he just grinned, "Come on," he said.

She smiled back, and tightened her own grip on his hand as they walked through the Garganta to face Aizen and the Espada.

--

A/N: Bad ending? Good ending? I rather liked ending this chapter this way…anyway, please review! I will try to update as soon as possible, which means as soon as Tite-sama tells what happened to Zaraki or Unohana. Although, personally I bet Zaraki kicked Nnoitra's skinny ass.


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